(Original Publication Date, 13 November 1990)
Sometimes I get so caught up in thinking my deep thoughts, it feels like my head is resting on a giant thought bubble filled with my thoughts. Just the other day I was thinking, “I feel so totally weird. I wish I could talk to someone. I wish I could talk to someone who knows me and understands me and will tell me everything’s OK.” I could almost feel the giant thought bubble pushing against my head with all those great thoughts.
I have discovered that a lot of times I stop thinking my thinks to myself and I start saying my thinks out loud. This can be a problem because then people can hear me. Just the other day I was thinking, “I wish someone would come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong, Mike?’” and it turned out I was actually saying, “I wish someone would come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong, Mike?’” I realized that I had said that last part out loud, because my mother came up to me and said, “What’s wrong, Mike?” It’s either that or my mother has developed some kind of mental telepathy where she can read my thoughts. I am pretty sure she can’t do that or she would be mad at me all the time. Either way it was weird because it’s really unusual for my mom to care what’s going wrong with me.
My mom is the last person I could talk to about you, Martha. If I told her I wrote you a love letter and I was worried that you would read it and then use it to humiliate me, I would get a lecture about how I am spending too much time with you and how we should cool off the relationship because bad things happen when you spend too much time with your girlfriend. I’ve heard it all before. Mom thinks we shouldn’t be spending every night together, like she doesn’t do that with my dad.
I had to say, “Oh, nothing…” That worked. She backed off immediately and gave up. Then I realized it wasn’t because she was really concerned. It was because she heard me thinking. Most times when mom comes up to me she is usually screaming and that’s when I know she cares.
Then I went back to thinking without saying what I meant out loud and said, “…and I’d tell them exactly how I feel.” We Pattersons have the ability to complete our sentences no matter how much time has passed since we started them. This happens even if we are just thinking the sentences and our mother interrupts us, so the sentence no longer makes any sense.
Thanks for reading,