Panel 1:
Michael: Hi, um, Allyson?
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: This isn’t Allyson. It’s Allyson’s mother. Who are you again?
Response 2: Allyson: Yes, this is Allyson.
Response 3: Peter Kent: Yes, this is Allyson.
Michael: It’s, um Mike Patterson.
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: Oh. Are you any relationship to the dentist, Dr. John Patterson? He’s my dentist.
Response 2: Allyson: Mike who?
Response 3: Peter Kent: Mike Patterson, eh? Are you high?
Michael: Yeah, um, hi!
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: Your father does great work. I have to say.
Response 2: Allyson: I have no idea who you are.
Response 3: Peter Kent: I thought so. You rich kids get all the good stuff.
Panel 2:
Michael: We, uh, I’ve got a friend here – you know, Gordon?
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: No. I don’t know Gordon.
Response 2: Allyson: No. I don’t know Gordon.
Response 3: Peter Kent: My man Gordon. No. I don’t know him.
Michael: We’re going to a show tonight,
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: You know this isn’t Allyson. This is her mother. Let me go get Allyson for you.
Response 2: Allyson: A show? That’s nice. I am going to a movie tonight, but I love plays.
Response 3: Peter Kent: You and Gordon? Are you calling Allyson, I mean, me, to tell me you are gay?
Michael: an’ he wants to talk to you.
Response 1: Allyson’s mother: Allyson! Allyson! There is some boy on the phone to talk to you. He’s the dentist’s son, I think.
Response 2: Allyson: Who wants to talk to me?
Response 3: Peter Kent: He doesn’t really have to tell me that. If it’s the “Hormone Attack” Gordon from school, I think everyone knows already.
Panel 3:
Michael: Go on!
Gordon: Ungkk!!
Response 1:
Allyson’s mother: It’s the dentist’s son.
Allyson: Who?
Response 2: Allyson: What’s going on? Are you vomiting? It sounds like you are vomiting.
Response 3: Peter Kent: Are you guys doing it while you are on the phone?
Panel 4:
Michael: Technical difficulties are temporary. Please don’t adjust your phone.
Gordon: Hlgftz!
Response 1:
Allyson: It says not to adjust your phone.
Allyson’s mother: Adjust your phone? How do you do that? That’s something they used to say on television for the old Outer Limits TV show.
Allyson: The what?
Allyson’s mother: The Outer Limits. They would say, “There’s nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture”
Allyson: When was that show on television?
Allyson’s mother: Thirty years ago.
Allyson: Who would quote some 30 year TV show to me on the phone?
Allyson’s mother: Probably some middle-aged female cartoonist who enjoys really old pop culture references.
Response 2: Allyson: Is this cousin Hlgftz? Is that you?
Response 3: Peter Kent: Are you using the phone? You guys are kinky.
Summary: Looking at this now it seems pretty obvious there is no way Allyson would accept an invitation from either of these two knuckleheads.
