dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote in binky_betsy,

Sunday, 3 February 2019: Songs in the key of STFU, Elly.

We interrupt watching Gordon making a pathetic fool of himself by pining away for Alyson so that we may watch Elly browbeat some poor sap of a salesclerk for playing evil headache music hat is scary and loud and bad because, as howtheduck says, Elly is too stupid to realize that the store doesn't WANT her business.

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Mike telling Lawrence, Brian and Darryl that he promised an unknown someone that he'd meet her by the fountain at the mall. Since they think he's got a date, they hoot their approval.

Panel 2: A few minutes later, we find him at the mall saying hello to Elly. This makes him into the most pathetic idiot ever.

Panel 3: The strip proper begins with Mike pointing towards a clothing store and telling him that there's a sweater in the window he'd like to try on. She replies "There is?" in mild confusion because usually, it's capital and labour to get anything out of him.

Panel 4: At the store, we see Elly fail to outshout the EVIL MUSIC THAT CHILDREN LISTEN TO THESE DAYS BECAUSE THEY WANT THEIR POOOOOOOOR MOTHERS TO DIE!!! when she tells the clerk (who I'll name Charlene as a way of paying tribute to Guisewite) that there's a sweater in the window.

At this point, I'd like to remind people that Lynn tends to speak in a timid little girl's voice most of the time so a white noise generator at the lowest possible setting could outshout Elly right about now. Rather than admit that she has to speak up, Lynn does what comes naturally: blame other people for her shortcomings.

Panel 5: As Mike tries on the sweater, we see Elly with her hands over her ears to block out the ridiculous lyrics Lynn pulled out of her rump so we can be told "I speak at a normal register, everyone ever."

Panel 6: Since Elly wants to not be thought of as a shouting shouter who shouts, she asks Charlene why the music is so loud.

Panel 7: Charlene like totally explains that they cater to the valuable twenty to thirty year old demographic and like totally play their music. This is a sound business strategy as it draws in young people with disposable income.

Panel 8: It like attracts them to the store and since they think it's a cool place, they like totally buy the clothes.

Panel 9: When Elly tells her to turn that crap the Hell off, Charlene asks why.

Panel 10: Elly acts like the condescending turd she is when she's not trying to impress people when she treats Charlene like a big idiot and says "To attract the people who pay for it" like the nasty old moocow she is.

Summary: You have just witnessed a horrible person be an overweening, overbearing jerk to a cog in the machinery. Charlene doesn't set the policy and if she messed with the stereo to placate the narrow-minded idiot shoving plastic in her hand, she'd get canned post haste. Not, of course, that Elly knows that or would care. It would be like understanding that most of the people paying for the stuff are young adults who actually like the music. That can't happen because her mental arithmetic always has a sample pool of just her at whatever stage of life she's in right now.

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