(Strip Number 6168, Original Publication Date, 02 October 1988)
Panel 1: Elly lies back as John is up and dressed and looking at his clothing choices. I can only assume that John goes to work much earlier than the time required to get kids to school.
Panel 2: Apparently unaccustomed to removing clothing from a hanger, John attempts to seduce the clothing off the hanger with an intimate dance.
Panel 3: Apparently this method works, but John’s seductive dance has attracted the attention of Elly and her jealousy. She attacks the clothing of seduction and says, “You can’t wear that clinic gown, John – It doesn’t match your pants!" John looks surprised as he says, “It doesn’t?” I am surprised too. Since when do blue and brown not go together? So I look it up and it appears that with dark brown pants, you want to wear a lighter coloured, pale shirt. As for the clinic gown, I don’t think Lynn got this one right.
This is a clinic gown:
This is a clinic jacket:
This is the lab coat:
Panel 4: John tries on a bright red gown and says, “How about this one?” Elly says, “Of course not.” Lighter coloured, pale gown, John.
Panel 5: Unable to pick one out himself, Elly now shows her fashion sense by putting John in a gown as she says, “Here. This one matches your pants and also the flooring in the first operatory.” What? First of all, it looks like a slightly lighter colour of the same colour as John’s pants (which may be the fault of the colourist). Second of all, why would you want pants that looked like the flooring in the first operatory? Let’s imagine the reasons:
1. Camouflage. If the patient gets really angry as the dentist botches the dental surgery and comes after the dentist, he can throw himself on the flooring and the patient won’t be able to spot him. “Where did that blasted dentist go? He was just here! When I get my hands on him…"
2. Dental fashion sense. “I just love a dentist who is colour-coordinated. That Dr. Patterson even matches the colour of his office. He must be good.”
3. Operatory Ownership. Just in case there is jealousy between the dental assistants working in different operatories. “You always come dressed like the flooring in her operatory, Dr. Patterson, and never like the flooring in mine. What have I done to displease you? Will we ever be happy again?”
4. Practicality. “John wanted to get a clinic gown in every colour under the rainbow, but I convinced him to get only clinic gowns that matched his operatory flooring. So now he has one in brown, one in gray, and one in dirty white covered in bits of drilled off tooth enamel.”
Panel 6: John apparently puts his foot up on the side of the panel to tie his shoes, and suddenly I feel a slight jealousy. I am not surrounded by panels all day where I can prop up my feet when I want to tie my shoes. That would be sweet. Elly sees John wearing gray shoes, and yells, “No! No! No! No! NO!... I said TAN shoes!” It makes me wonder what John heard where he mistook “tan” for “gray.” “What kind of shoe did Elly want me to wear? Was it 'tan' or 'Etonic' brand? I will go with my nice gray Etonics.”
Panel 7: Elly now ties the green-striped tie to go over John’s green shirt with her eyes closed and says, “There. Now you look like a dentist!!” It is amazing how a dentist looks like the inside of her eyelids. I guess Elly must fall asleep a lot in the dentist chair.
Panel 8: John is astonished that Elly thinks she looks like a dentist. I am astonished too as once again, John’s tie is tied too short. Come on people! The tie is supposed to end where the pants begin.
Panel 9: And just as if John heard me yelling that (Yes, I was yelling), he looks down at his tie.
Panel 10: He walks off and thinks, “Why do I feel like an idiot?” Because you look like this, John:
But at least you don't look like this:
Summary: If Elly’s opinions are even remotely like Lynn’s own, then you know that Rod Johnston’s garish bowties must have driven her to distraction.