Binky Betsy (cookie77) wrote in binky_betsy,
Binky Betsy
cookie77
binky_betsy

July retcons

Happy Fourth of July! howard must have gone away for the holiday. I miss his analysis of the daily strips, but at least eeknight is here to deconstruct the retcons (hint hint)!

Elly: Why is it that after years of storing something (like an apple peeler), you need it after you've put it in storage. Beats me. (It still didn't work, so I've given it to the recycle guys).

First of all, you're redundant; you make it sound like you stored it before you put it in storage. Second, when you do a cleansweep, you're supposed to make sure everything works before you put it away. A lot of accrued junk is stuff that doesn't work, but that you hang on to as if it will regenerate itself. And thirdly, an apple peeler, assuming it works, belongs in the kitchen, not storage.

Re: the school gym uniform. I assume that by seventies-style shorts, she means the Bruce Jenner decathalon shorts: the ones that are REALLY short, with a cut on the side so you can't sit down without your junk hanging out if you're a guy, or your butt if you're a gal. So I don't blame the students for not wanting to wear them. Not only would I not want to wear those either, I'm surprised that a school that chose uniforms (one assumes for propriety's sake) would keep banana-hammocks as part of the gym uniform. That said, since when is gym an elective? At my school, you had to take it all four years.

I'm taking lots of photos and having a great time doing it. I've more or less mastered the art of transferring them to the computer,

:::faints::: You gotta be kidding me. Elly, more or less mastering something technological?

The photos are accompanied by some anecdotes and stories that I've written, and everyone who's seen it so far has been complimentary.

Everyone who's seen it so far has humored you.

John: What shook me was to see some of my classmates looking like old people!

Dude, all you do is moan that you've got one foot in the grave. And then in the same para, you say,

A lot of my classmates were obviously working out regularly, were trim and fit, and had beautiful smiles and well cared-for hair!

Well, that doesn't sound like "old people".

So, I came home feeling pretty much like a home-body, quite ignorant of the ways of the wide world.

Whyn't you go some place besides Mexican tourist traps, then?

I have never really enjoyed the tragedies, and much prefer comedies and musicals. So, if you can believe it, we went to a Shakespearian festival and took in South Pacific, Oliver, and the Glass Menagerie!

I can give him a mulligan on this one. He probably realized that GM is a tragedy, but saw it as a concession to Elly, who did want to see something heavy. Just that the phrasing was horribly awkward. But of course, that hinges on Elly having wanted to see a non-musical, non-comedy in the first place, which doesn't seem her style either.

sitting on the park Benches,

Why is that capitalized?

Actually the one that caught my eye was a model of a Bushwhacker! So I am off to pick that one up. Yep, it's the same colour that my old Bushwhacker was. I know, I am buying it more for me than the kids, but that's the prerogative of a grandparent!

You really haven't gotten over that Bushwhacker, have you. And I KNOW it's more for you than the kids. Everything is. Like when Merrie was over, and you paid her no attention except to tell her not to touch your pwecious twains.

I run by it quite often, and have spoken to the owner, but they are not ready to give it up. He did promise me if he did that I would be the first to know about it!

In other words, he's getting a restraining order against you.

And I assume April is "the kid". He has no middle ground with her. Now that she's no longer willing to be his Elly-substitute, she's "the kid". She'd better start saving for her own apartment, because when John gets that train house, she's history.

Liz: Now I'm right in the pit of Toronto's stomach

Ugh, that makes Mike's metaphors look good. Anyway, I thought she was in Missisausage, not Toronto.

My boyfriend was within casual driving distance, I had an employment contract, and the amount in my bank account was on the rise.

SO WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!

Candace, the psychology grad, warned me to watch out for signs of depression since this is such a huge transition period I'm going through.

You're still in touch with Candace? Then why didn't she analyze your reasons for leaving Mtig?

Thankfully no one else in this apartment has a cat, so she's welcome in the kitchen area as long as I'm there and she behaves herself.

Well, thank heavens Shiimsa didn't get left! But...no one else in this apartment? Is she sharing with someone? How many other someones? Or, if she means the building, and she's living alone, then what difference does it make if Shiimsa's in the kitchen?

she's the only constant in my life at the moment. I never thought I'd find myself so attached to a cat.

Of course, you could have another constant in your life. And also of course, this need for a constant will send you right into the arms of...

I'm a sucker for those twenty-five cent gumball machines

I'd think this was a deliberate pun, except that "sucker" probably does not mean "lollipop" in Toronto.

April: My average is decent, and I got over 80 in all my favourite subjects.

What about your unfavorite subjects, though? And where I'm from, "over 80" is only a B.

Sometimes I feel like the worst musician in the band since I haven't been taking lessons as long as some of the rest of us,

Well, you started pretty darn young, as I recall. When did the others start, birth? Or do you mean, you gave it up for a time when it stopped being sheer joy and started being work?

I can't wait until we're older and our folks won't worry about the fact that we have members of the opposite sex in the band.

You know what also might help? If they updated your animation so you're no longer eleven in it.

And why in the hell do you have to buy your own furniture? Even my parents never did that.

Duncan's going to help me do the painting

:::gasp::: OMG! You mean, a person of the opposite sex is going to be in your ROOM?!

I'll be going to Manitoba in August to work on Aunt Bev an' Uncle Danny's farm.

And of course, all through the month of August (strip time), you'll be shown in Milborough. Or if you're not shown, at least we'll never see you leave for or return from Manitoba.

Miss Mike: It was as if I'd entered the conscious mind of someone else. A woman, whose life story has captivated me totally, as if it were my own.

I don't even have to say anything.

Sheilagh

??? She's a cudgel of oak, blackthorn, or other hardwood?

I hear the voice of her Canadian husband, more focused on the property than on the incredulous, vulnerable and lonely woman he has enticed to a life of hardships more disheartening than any suffered during the war. It's going to be a story about love and hate. Strength and weakness and an ultimate resolution that will change the woman forever.

So does Deanna Sheilagh dump his self-centered, whiny ass, then?

I find myself racing off after dinner to explore the next chapter.

As opposed to racing off after dinner to write eulogies and edit dissertations. You'll never run out of excuses.

She tells me how she would feel in Sheilagh's situation and I see that a woman's strength comes first from intangible things, like love, understanding, reassurance and support

WHICH SHE DOES NOT GET FROM YOU

- whereas a man's well-being needs the solid affirmation that property, position, power and a means to sustain himself brings.

And dreams about buying the building he lives in, so he can shut off his neighbors' hot water and refinish their floors with a varnish that smells like "feet".

He needs an identity - which we all do,

Including wives. I can already see that this is going to end up being more about the man than the woman.

but in the case of two people struggling to revive an abandoned farm, these diverse ways of seeing things can drive a wedge into a marriage - a wedge that goes too deep to repair.

Christ, you can't even make fictional characters compromise. You, you, you; it's all about YOU.

Perhaps this story has been told before. Similar people, similar space.

AAAAAUUUUGHHHH!

Time with the children is a joy. When I can separate myself from the fantasy world, reality fills me with what's good in my life.

I thought it was all about "'tend"?

Robin, now old enough to know he's seen a small phenomenon, was able to contain his excitement.

That doesn't even make sense. If he contained it, how do you know he was excited? Or is he more insightful than Merrie, and already knows that if he reacts audibly, Daddy will stomp back up to the attic?

Deanna takes on more than her share of the chores when I'm writing.

So what's new?

We have hired a young woman to help, which has given her some time for herself.

But I thought you were sooooo poooor?

She tends to spend her precious freedom shopping for groceries and doing family errands

Then it's not freedom.

- but, she does manage to get together with friends for lunch and have some much-needed adult conversation. Oh, she does have adult conversations with me...but, I think she needs to talk ABOUT me from time to time!

And I wish you could hear it.

And we get to hear his take on Liz's situation. So far, her boyfriend Paul has kept in touch, but he's also kept his distance. It's not easy for him to drive all the way to Toronto (17 hours!) to see Elizabeth, and flying is difficult, too - since the closest airports are miles away in two circuitous directions.

Goddamn right he's kept his distance! I wouldn't drive 17 hours for her selfish ass either! Oh, and Mike: "Circuitous" is not the right word, there. Try "opposite", for cryin' out loud.

Well, at least he's putting in face time at April's gig. But this: I'm surrounded by strong women: my sisters, my daughter, my wife. Maybe that's where "Sheilagh" has come from. Maybe I'll write her story well. All I can say is - I'm trying, and the chapters are coming into my head more rapidly than I can write them!

I don't see how Merrie can be "strong" when she's barely four years old. He just said Liz is coming apart at the seams. And he doesn't show Deanna a shred of appreciation, so the only strong woman he's really "surrounded by" would be April.

Deanna: Living in the past. Living in denial. Just have an affair already; Miss Mike will never know the difference.

Jim: Just die already.

Pets: I skim them just in case they have info about the humans. From this, I find that Liz shares a communal kitchen, so that answers the earlier question. But what is this, 1968?
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