jelly jones (qnjones) wrote in binky_betsy,
jelly jones
qnjones
binky_betsy

Susan's raison d'etre.

From her biography at the Who's Who on FBOFW.com:

Susan Dokis

Associated with: Liz

About Susan: Susan Dokis is a Native teacher who first came to assist Liz in her Mtigwaki classroom and later decided to take over for Liz, who opted to leave Mtigwaki after the 2005-2006 school year.


Looks like Susan will be taking over for Liz in more ways than one. She will make us not hate Liz for abandoning Mtigwaki's adorable little scampy schoolchildren because she's there to step in, and with better Native Studies credentials than Liz could ever hope to possess.

And, perhaps more importantly, Susan will let Liz off the hook for her horrible maltreatment of Paul, because Paul and Susan are going to fall head over heels in love with each other in 5, 4, 3, 2...

I want to scream "lamest plot device evah!", but that award probably goes to the Howard the Go-Afterer from last summer.

Only way this will be saved for me: if Paul cheats on Liz with Susan--whose ass he is already groping with both hands!! This Eric Redux leads Liz to swear off men forever. She becomes a nun and teaches children at Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Day School in Milborough until the ripe old age of 98.

Of course, we all know that that sort of development would just send her back into the arms of Anthony, the only man who was ever faithful to her. And who was recently cuckolded himself by an Evil Frenchy. Hey, turns out you can't trust any of the ethnicities that reside in Ontario as a romantic partner, except for "white suburban lame-o." Those Frenchies and the aboriginals are from inferior genetic stock, and thus do not have the same high morals. Le sigh.

Well, either way, whether Paul cheats or not--it's absolutely 100% official now. Liz and Anthony, wedding date 2007. If not before.

Gosh Susan, thanks so much for stepping up and bravely taking on Liz's sloppy seconds so that her sainted Patterson status can remain intact. You're a mensch. Or whatever the Ojibwe word for "mensch" is. Howard, an assist please?

ETA: Notice that Liz's total reluctance to actually talk to the people in her life made this surprise possible. If Liz had ever talked to Paul about the basic news in her life--"Guess what? There was a student teacher named Susan Dokis. Oh, did I mention that a woman names Susan Dokis is taking my place?"--there would be no surprise. Paul would already be half-expecting to know her. Ditto if Liz had ever even bothered to say her boyfriend's name to Susan, but no, not even his name passed her lips. Keep it up, Liz, you repressed, emotionally withholding, passive-aggressive little harpy. This trait makes you perfect for Milborough and for Granthony.
Tags: ass grab/hoist, chudsers, qnjones, white goose flies south
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