dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote in binky_betsy,

The Christmas pageant and its discontents.

Now, we all know that every so often, someone will talk about how Lynn had the unhappy tendency of letting plot threads drop because of her messy priorities and innate forgetfulness. The reason that I mention this is that for some reason, she decided to actually show this year's Christmas pageant by creating new, not-in-any-newspaper strips specifically for a treasury.

We start the trio of bonus strips with Miss Lyon trying to organize the kiddies before the start of the thing. As we see here, she seems to be rather poor at handling her charges and also rather easily overwhelmed.

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Miss Lyon getting the cast of the Christmas pageant as organized as she can get them. She tells the children playing the shepherds to get behind the kings followed by the lambs while warning the 'cows' to stay by the stable.

Panel 2: She then asks where 'Joseph' is and, having found him, to stay by 'Mary' and to not move.

Panel 3: When telling Lizzie to take her place, she tells a boy named Warren that no, he can't go to the bathroom right now.

Panel 4: Her reaction to this having to deal with small children is to crumple in exasperated and baffled despair and thought-bubble that they had less trouble filming the Ten Commandments.

Summary: So much for her being good with kids, eh? I'd hate to see her exposed to genuine hardship....she'd probably God-damned die of the God-damned vapors.

The next strip in the sequence has her turn the minor crisis of Lizzie's losing the batteries for the star into a huge crisis.

Panel 1: A few minutes later, we find Miss Lyon standing there listening to a crying Lizzie tell her that a certain thing is not HER fault because a Liam took some things out to look at them.

Panel 2: As Lizzie wipes her nose on her sleeve like a farmer or something, Miss Lyon asks said Liam to think about what he did with the flashlight batteries after he took them out to look at them.

Panel 3: It would appear that Liam's IQ is PU; that's because Teacher comes on stage to tell the people that there's a slight technical hiccup that's going to delay the performance.

Panel 4: Said delay is their losing the batteries out of the Star of Bethlehem.

Summary: This leaves us wondering what kind of idiot kid takes batteries out just to look at them and proceeds to lose them. Is he wandering about telling people his kitten's breath smells like cat food? When he dies, will his last words be an upbeat "I'm a fatality!!"?

We end the thing with John's plan to record the play for posterity going up the spout because no one thought to keep spare batteries on their person just to be safe because taking precautions is for picky-faces.

Panel 1: We come to the performance proper with Lizzie declaiming that she is the Star that shone inna night for wise kings an'shepherds that followed my light.

Panel 2: We switch focus to the manger where 'Mary' asks 'Joseph' what happened because she thought that Lizzie lost the batteries outta her flashlight.

Panel 3: 'Joseph' says that he's not sure but he thinks her dad gave her some.

Panel 4: We find ourselves looking at a goggle-eyed John with a non-functioning tape recorder in his lap not really listening to Elly's reassurance that someone else taped the play.

Summary: You would have thought that someone else would have volunteered the batteries or kept spares. Then again, you would have thought that Miss Lyon would have allowed for a mischance but here we are.

What we learn is that children are chaotic idiots who witlessly get in the way of adult plans because they aren't smart enough to look out for themselves. We learn something else: we learn to be careful what we wish for.

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