(Strip Number 799, Original Publication Date, 11 February 1985)
Panel 1: We start the Valentine's Day micro-arc with John telling Jean that there's one thing that he'd love to buy Elly for Valentine's.
Panel 2: Said desired purchase is a big, fancy, heart-shaped box of chocolates.
Panel 3: Since he's essentially Little Johnny Jump-up with an RRSP, he tells Jean that he can't imagine buying something so silly and sentimental himself.
Panel 4: In order to protect himself from being mocked by phantom classmates from third grade, he stupidly asks Jean to pick one up on her lunch hour.
Summary: No jeezly wonder Mike would go on to irritate the Hell out of Martha by giving her a gross-out Valentine; he's been brought up to believe that acting like a civilized human being means he's effeminate.