(Also, I wonder if that pity email to Shannon was the first, last and only.)
Panel 2: John looks a bit maniacal himself. Also, that sentence doesn't quite parse. There are twisted people who try to get teenagers to meet them IRL, certainly, but John's worried about INFORMATION? Does he fall for every OMG INFECTED NEEDLES HIGH BEAMING GANG INITIATION TODDLER NEEDS A HEART TRANSPLANT email forward he gets?
Panel 3: That's right; you can't. And again, who wants to bet that April gives him some glurge about how he's raised her well enough that she instinctively, Pattersonally, knows the right things to do and not do.
Panel 4: Wait for it...
Panel 5: Bingo. Pardon me while I vomit.
...Okay, I'm better now. But this is what really bugs about FOOB nowadays. There was a time when the Patterson Juniors actually, you know, took chances and made mistakes and learned from them. Now we just get this endless repetition of "April will never put a toe out of line, because you are such sterling parents." How about showing the PROCESS of maturing? Eh?