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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The FOOBiverse!'s LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, October 24th, 2018
12:39 am
Friday, 26 October 2018
We switch back to John's difficulty finding somewhere to spend the night so that he can make an ironic comment to a clerk who's probably too in love with thinking that the computer is always right to do something like assume that "Paterson" and "Patterson" are the same man.

Panel 1: It would appear that the man I refer to as Doctor Shotgun is Doctor Don. That's because as they sign up for the TMJ workshop, John tells Don to sign in for him so that he can arrange a room for the night.

Panel 2: When he gets to the front desk, the clerk from last Saturday apologizes but the best she can do is a studio with a fold-out couch; this causes John to tell her that he'd registered weeks ago.

Panel 3: She then looks at the screen of her terminal and tells him that she's checked and he's simply not there. He looks at the screen and asks "I'm not?"

Panel 4: This is so he can tell her to find out who is standing there wearing his suit.

Summary: As someone who understands computers better than Lynn does, I find the excessive trust the woman puts in the machine to be something of a joke. While I can see that John only thinks that he booked a room or that he booked for the wrong date or that the data entry clerk cannot spell, I don't think that she can see the last two because she doesn't realize that machines are designed, built and operated by fallible human beings.
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018
12:35 am
Thursday, 25 October 2019
After talking it over with Connie, Elly decides to hold off on telling John about the car accident until he gets home so as to spoil the good time that she doesn't know that he's not actually having.

Panel 1: Later that day, we find Elly talking to Connie about the accident. She explains that she's been driving for twenty years and never had one before before explaining that it wasn't her fault.

Panel 2: She then goes all panicky because she doesn't know how to tell John that his car got smashed because it's his baby and he loves the car.

Panel 3: Connie tells her to wait until he gets home from the convention. Elly agrees because she'd hate to have to spoil the good time he's having in Ottawa.

Panel 4: We go to Ottawa so we can get vintage homophobic humor that has Doctor Shotgun tell a surprised John that if he hugs him one more time, he's sleeping in the tub.

Summary: Not only did Pervrett drive his car into the Overcompensationmobile, he also managed to make three plot threads collide: Elly's panicky dread of what people will say about what she did, Lynn's need to inflict pain on Rod by proxy for leaving her field of vision and Lynn's need to pretend that it's still the fatuous fifties.
Monday, October 22nd, 2018
5:07 am
Latinx Michael Patterson: Baldo is excessively honest about blowing off the evil schoolwork of telling the evil lie that he needs to know about things that aren't motherfucking cars.

Betty: Betty no longer finds joy looking through her idea of porn (hint: it's the IKEA catalogue).

Dick Tracy: And since we're talking about old movies, it makes sense that Vitamin is in the rotation again.

Curtis: Once again, it's funny and cute that Barry is a malicious little sack of shit who can dish it out but can't take it.

White People Problems: Once again, the hateful jerk at the temp agency is funny because she treats Dustin like a shitheel.

Judge Parker: All seems to be right in Alan's world right now that Katherine is back.

Sally Forth: Jackie's jazzing things up seems to have finally created an interest in Tasha's store.
12:39 am
Wednesday, 24 October 2018
Today's strip in which Elly assumes sight unseen that John will beat the shit out of her because Velocity Boy rammed into his joy wagon is one I take mildly personally. Not only does it show us where Liz gets the idea she'll be tanned raw, this morose pile of slop happened to go online the day my mom passed away.

Panel 1: Pervrett tells the same self-serving version of the accident story he does in the trial by saying "So the light turned green, right? So, I'm comin'through the intersection an'she like decides to turn left" because women drivers amirite?

Panel 2: He stands there with a frown on his face when she tells the constable on scene the truth: she didn't see him because he came from behind a school bus.

Panel 3: PC Plod asks her for her licence and registration before noting that it's her husband's car and asks her if she has any injuries.

Panel 4: She looks forward to a beating that will never take place and goes all goggle-eyed as she says "Not yet."

Summary: What Lynn and Elly tend to forget is that John isn't going to be interested in taking things out on her because John would much rather kick the tar out of Longhair McLyingPieceOfShit for hurting his car and scaring his wife in no set order. This ends up costing her because her being a panicky idiot worried about something that ain't going to happen makes her look guilty and thus means that we're treated to Lynn's inability to understand or care that Canada and the US have different legal systems.
Sunday, October 21st, 2018
11:29 pm
DID SHE REALLY....? Part The Second
Very pleased at the response to my post a little less than two weeks ago, but I came up with another few and I know that no one's actually going to read a new message if I put it in the initial thread now that said thread has been pushed off the front page. Besides, at least one of these may be worth a thread all its own.

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12:37 am
Tuesday, 23 October 2018
It turns out that the person Elly collided with is the dude from the salon with the long hair that made her go all gobsmacked last Spring.

Panel 1: As we all know, we zoom out to see what went SCREEE-BANG into John's car: some asshole in a sedan thought that he or she had to be wherever s/he was going so fucking quickly, s/he jolly well could pass a school bus on the right.

Panel 2: We see the aggressive clod from the back to see that whoever it is has long hair declaring the situation s/he blundered into being reckless just great.

Panel 3: As a horrified Elly looks on, somebody who looks a damned sight like that choad Radcliffe asks the two ladies to get their car out of the intersection.

Panel 4: Since Lynn is a square from way back there, it's meant to come as big a shock to us as it does to Baldy Guy that the other 'lady' is the jackass from the salon telling the bozo to shove it up his exhaust 'cause this is none of his business.

Summary: It turns out that our boy has himself a surname that Lynn thinks that a man with long hair deserves: Pervrett. The Tory dimwit in her is gonna think that a man with long hair wants to be a girl or something and that's why he's named that.
Saturday, October 20th, 2018
12:33 am
Monday, 22 October 2018
We launch into the accident proper with Elly getting what's probably literally a wake-up call when a second's inattention costs her.

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elly reflect on what a busy day she's had so far and date the strip by talking about how if she can get to the bank before it closes, she can deposit the cheque she's got in her hand.

Panel 2: After that, she'll see if she can't fit a couple of bags of groceries in the back seat.

Panel 3: She does that CLOSED-EYED smug smile thing of hers when she starts to admit to herself that John is right about how it feels like second nature to drive the Overcompensationmobile.

Panel 4: Her self-congratulation incident is interrupted by something going SCREEEEEE-BANG!!!!! right into her which causes her to actually earn the gobsmacked teeth-of-evil look of sheer horror her face is frozen in.

Summary: The irony is not just that her not looking where she wanted to go for a second helped contribute to her predicament. The irony is that Worst Driver 14 starts on the 29th of the month because one of the two people involved in the crash looks a lot like a typical nominee.
Friday, October 19th, 2018
12:31 am
Sunday, 21 October 2018
In today's strip, Farley is too frightened of the vacuum cleaner to bark at it until Elly unplugs it.

Panel 1: We start things off with Elly taking the vacuum cleaner out of the utility closet.

Panel 2: The direction the strip is going to take is indicated by having Farley frown like a human being when she turns it on.

Panel 3: The strip proper begins with him looking at one of the attachments as if it's a dangerous animal.

Panel 4: As it passes by, he cowers in fear.

Panel 5: We then see him behind a doorway just terrified of the noise the thing is making.

Panel 6: We next see him on the steps to the rec room looking gobsmacked.

Panel 7: Farley looks on as Elly unplugs it improperly.

Panel 8: He approaches the inert appliance with a look of irritation on his face.

Panel 9: Now that it can no longer threaten him, Farley barks angrily at it because he's a big chicken on top of being a furry clown.

Summary: We're not going to get notes that understand how terrifying the sound vacuums make is to dogs. We're going to get her making noise about furry idiots and natural clowns.
Thursday, October 18th, 2018
12:34 am
Saturday, 20 October 2018
We head back to the nation's capital to watch John deal with the side effects of being too stupid to make sure that he's actually booked at the hotel.

Panel 1: We find ourselves at the hotel watching John get all gobsmacked because the lobby is packed. Since he's never seen the hotel so busy before, he assumes that the Shriners are having a convention too.

Panel 2: When he goes to check in, the lady at the counter tells him that sorry, there is no reservation for a John Patterson from Milborough, Ontario on file. Since John is certain he booked, he tells her that there must have been some mistake.

Panel 3: We get a foreshadowing of the "Yes....but not by US" thing when she tells him that they're booked solid and every other hotel is full but does suggest asking to double up with a member of his group.

Panel 4: We find him in Doctor Shotgun's room staring at a single bed and being told "Maybe there'll be a cancellation before we turn in."

Summary: One of two things happened. Either John thought that he made the reservation but didn't OR there's a reservation for a John PATERSON from MILBORO, Ontario on file. There must be some reason that isn't Lynn being pissed at being called Johnson all the time that explains Mike's need to say Patterson with two t's.

ETA: It occurs to me that we're starting to see John being made into what turns out to be a (non-existent) threat today because Lynn keeps hammering home what a bad mood he's in because the convention was a bust.
Wednesday, October 17th, 2018
3:43 pm
Lynn at Cartoon Crossroads.
The latest news item is Lynn's description of this years' visit to Cartoon Crossroads in Columbus, Ohio. As always, we rely on howtheduck's ability to understand Lynnglish to learn what she's really saying.

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12:32 am
Friday, 19 October 2018
Day Two of Elly being mentally overwhelmed by having to drive the sportscar has her not notice a stupidity-induced wardrobe malfunction.

Panel 1: After having dropped Michael off at school, we find Elly thought-bubbling that John's car is different from hers because she feels as if she's level with the road.

Panel 2: She then notices that people are pointing at her and staring; she ascribes this to a sort of mystique associated with sports cars.

Panel 3: She decides to ignore their stares because it's not her fault that they've mistaken her for a rich, single, jet-setting executive oozing with confidence.

Panel 4: The joke ends up being on her because the person who was pointing at her tells the person driving the car that he or she wonders how long it will take that nitwit in the sports car to realize that she's got her skirt caught in the door.

Summary: Elly isn't stupid as such; she's just finding it difficult to deal with having to be aware of her surroundings. This failure to focus ends up being punctuated with a SCREEEEEEE-BANG!!!! Monday.

Of course, a lack of focus isn't just for soccer moms peeled out of their station wagons and plopped into Intimidationmobiles. It's also for dentists who don't know how to pack for themselves and also tend to forget to book hotel rooms.
Tuesday, October 16th, 2018
12:29 am
Thursday, 18 October 2018
Having to drive the Overcompensationmobile makes Elly so nervous, she forgets minor details like "not dying of carbon monoxide poisoning."

Panel 1: As John heads off to the land of overbooked hotels, we find ourselves back at home watching Elly tell Mike that she'll drop him off on the way to the library because he's a bit late for the school bus.

Panel 2: We then find them in the car learning that Elly has never gotten behind the wheel of the damned thing. After telling him this, she says something else that reminds us of a problem. Said thing is "Depress clutch, put gear into Neutral" and tells us that Elly is not used to using a manual transmission.

Panel 3: Mike then tries to warn her of something she has neglected to do only to be told to be quiet because she's focused solely on driving the car.

Panel 4: We switch to an exterior view of the garage to see that the garage door is closed so that Mike can ask her "Shouldn't you have opened the garage door first?"

Summary: What most people forget when they talk about aggressive drivers being a menace is that what's equally a hazard are drivers who are intimidated by their vehicle like Elly is. As I said Tuesday, she's too damned self-conscious to drive the sports car and it ends up costing her a bit.
Monday, October 15th, 2018
12:27 am
Wednesday, 17 October 2018
John and his colleagues seem to regard the convention as something of a vacation from work and act accordingly.

Panel 1: As John and his group drive to Ottawa, he tells them that he doesn't know about them he's been looking forward to this trip because it's good to get away from the clinic every so often.

Panel 2: Doctor Shotgun agrees because one tends to stagnate cooped up like they've been. They need get out, see what's happening, take in the action, shake off the cobwebs and interlard their daily speech with platitudes.

Panel 3: Doctor Backseat says that the workshop on temporomandibular joint dysfunction looks interesting. John and Dr Shotgun agree.

Panel 4: We switch to an exterior view of the hoverwagon as John says that they should remember to actually attend it.

Summary: John's thinking that this is some sort of vacation ends up costing him. First off, he's not prepared for the fact that what looks like a nation-wide event is going to result in overbooked hotels and second, he was so distracted, he forgot to book a room.
Sunday, October 14th, 2018
12:25 am
Tuesday, 16 October 2018
Day Two of the Car Accident Arc has Mike tell John that it doesn't matter if Elly is a safe driver because she's too stodgy a person to look right driving the Overcompensationmobile.

Panel 1: As John gets ready to leave, Liz asks if he's going away because Lynn thinks her readers have the same poor memory she does. He replies by explaining that he and some of his fellow dentists are going to Ottawa for a convention and he volunteered to drive.

Panel 2: When he says that he's planing on driving Elly's station wagon because it seats more people, Mike does that palms-out thing when he asks him if he realizes that he's leaving Elly with the sports car.

Panel 3: Since he forgets that no matter how safe Elly a driver might be, she shares the roads with jerks like Velocity Boy and says that he has no problem with that because of Elly's skill behind the wheel; as Elly's silhouette approaches, he goes on to ask what's wrong with Elly driving something wild and sporty for once.

Panel 4: As we bear witness to Elly sitting at the table, wearing her housecoat and eating a big bowl of bran flakes, Mike says that he finds it hard to imagine.

Summary: What the next few days prove is that Elly herself finds it hard to imagine too. We (and Lynn) might have a bit of fun at her expense but the plain fact is that John's sporty little car makes her feel kind of anxious because it's a sporty little car and not the tank she likes to drive because it makes her feel protected. This is half of why she's so blasted flustered by the accident, I think: her fear of actually feeling the road.
Friday, October 12th, 2018
11:36 pm
Not sure how/if it's possible to share, but on the Facebook page for FBorFW, there was a video posted with the following description:

Watch as Lynn brings adored FBorFW character "Anthony" to life! For the chance to receive an original drawing of your own, be sure to participate in our future contests.

Adored?!?!?! I don't think that word means what Lynn and her team think it does. A couple of notable things: Lynn is copying from a strip in one of her collections. Don't most cartoonist have model sheets for their characters, which they use instead of copying from earlier strips? Also Paul Lucas gets a credit for the background music.

Lynn copying "adored" Anthony from a collection.

Ta-da! Lynn drew as much of Anthony as she had patience for (head and shoulders)
Saturday, October 13th, 2018
12:34 am
Monday, 15 October 2018
We start the car crash arc proper with a sort of echo of the strip that had John be a condescending twat when Elly complained about being treated like his fucking mommy when we're reminded that as a man, he doesn't know how to pack a suitcase.

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Elly pack a suitcase as Elizabeth watches. As she does so, we see John standing in the doorway and asking her if she put in his blue shirt and his socks. Elly says that yes, she put in his socks.

Panel 2: This pleases him because the last time he went on a trip, he couldn't find his socks, belt or underpants and everything looked as if it had been slept in.

Panel 3: Liz sets up the slam at Rod's expense by asking Daddy why he didn't pack his own suitcase that time.

Panel 4: He rolls his eyes in frustration and says "I did."

Summary: While this is meant to be a sequel to that strip I mentioned about him not realizing that telling her that she does what should be his job better than he cares to doesn't mollify Elly in the least, it also reminds us that left to his own devices, John would end up living in filth and dressing like a fool.
Friday, October 12th, 2018
12:31 am
Sunday, 14 October 2018
John's more or less willingly indulging Liz's age almost-appropriate behaviour leads to Steve making a comment about how the cheese is slipping off of his cracker due to overwork.

Panel 1: We start things off with a smiling Elizabeth drawing chalk lines on the driveway. The time of year is established by having leaves just flying around at random.

Panel 2: Now that whatever she's been doing is completed, she says "There!!"

Panel 3: What she appears to be doing is devolving into a screenwriter's idea of what a six year old is; this is because she informs John that he can't simply walk down the driveway because it isn't one any more.

Panel 4: When she 'splains that he's in Jumping Land, he echoes the phrase in confusion.

Panel 5: She then explains that it's followed by Skipping, Twirling and Backward Lands; he mutters "Oh" because he understands that she's turned into a sitcom mutant again.

Panel 6: Since he finds that cute, he decides to play along by asking her of he has to go through all of these 'lands' to get to the road. She smiles as she says "All of them" because she doesn't realize that she's being very mildly patronized.

Panel 7: She laughs in childlike glee when he jumps his way through Jumping Land.

Panel 8: Next comes twirling through Twirling Land.

Panel 9: As he goes backwards through Backwards Land, we zoom out to see that Steve and Anne have been watching the whole thing; this is so Steve can tell Anne that he told her that Patterson has been working too hard.

Summary: Lynn seemed to get a lot of mileage with the "Rod/John is a great big kid really" theme. What she loses sight of is that someone who has a lot of little kid in him can sometimes be as cruel as a little kid too.
Thursday, October 11th, 2018
12:47 am
Saturday, 13 October 2018
We end the week with a reminder that John's point of view is always a decade and a half in the past.

Panel 1: We find ourselves at the end of another working day watching Jean tell John that he looks tired. He tells her that he's dead on his feet.

Panel 2: As he drives home, he reminds us that he's kind of stuck in the past when he tells himself that he's returning to a loving wife who'll give him a back-rub and serve him a hot meal.

Panel 3: This will be followed by sinking into the soothing warmth of his recliner and listening to soft music.

Panel 4: Now that he is home, we see him perched on an ottoman eating a TV dinner from a TV tray as Farley is in his recliner, Elly is taking a nap after a busy day of chasing the children watching a Western on the box. As he eats his hot meal analogue, he thinks to himself "One out of four ain't bad."

Summary: What John's deal here is that he still seems to think that he's just come back from his really crappy honeymoon and is still a young married person. This seems to be why he's a shitty father....he's still in the waiting room waiting to be told what sex his first kid is!
Wednesday, October 10th, 2018
12:45 am
Friday, 12 October 2018
John is mildly perplexed by the fact that an elderly patient also likes to play with toys.

Panel 1: After his check-up, the young boy with the teddy-bear tells his mother that Doctor Patterson's hygienist said that he had such a good check-up, he gets to choose a prize.

Panel 2: As he searches through the toy bin, John tells an elderly patient named Fred that his results look good and that he'll see him in six months.

Panel 3: Having noticed that the ten year old gets a prize for a good check-up, Fred points to the box as if to say that he too wants a prize. This confuses John because Fred isn't a kid.

Panel 4: As Fred plays with his toy, Jean laughs at someone who's a kid at heart while John reminds us of what his last name is by standing there like a wooden Jesus in a country graveyard trying to figure out what just happened.

Summary: Now that we're a decade in, I think it's safe to say that yes, it probably would kill them to react the way people are supposed to to the things that they say. It's like how Elly is always screaming in horror when reacting to mild bullshit instead of rolling her eyes in irritation or smiling ruefully.
Tuesday, October 9th, 2018
12:43 am
Thursday, 11 October 2018
John reassures a younger patient by pretending to give his teddy bear a check-up first.

Panel 1: We have a close-in shot of what looks like John being a reassuring presence to a younger patient as he tells the 'child' that he's just going to have a gentle look around and s/he feels uncomfortable, he'll stop.

Panel 2: Now that the exam is done, John tells the patient that his or her teeth are nice and healthy and s/he has been a fine patient.

Panel 3: We zoom out to see that he's actually been doing an exam on a grade schooler's teddy bear to reassure him and his mother and tells him that it's his turn now.

Summary: It's not all doom and gloom at the dentist's office. It's just a hectic place to work.
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