Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 29 October 2021

The one where Elly forgets that when you have a toddler, you have to adapt to her schedule.

Synopsis: Elly interrupts nap-time to fit April for a Halloween costume. Since the child balks for reasons Elly refuses to admit to, she is pointlessly angry at a child who doesn't understand what's happening.

Summary: As I said the other day, Elly is doing something that could have been done when April was in the mood to be man-handled but cannot because she cannot admit that she doesn't understand children and refuses to do so anyway.
Royally Peeved Candiru

Sunday, 24 October 2021

The dialogue-free one that predicts how and why Farley will die.

Panel 1: As John rakes the leaves in the background, we find April crunching a pile underfoot.

Panel 2: This is she can happily dive into it.

Panel 3: April learns that while leaves are brightly coloured, they taste bad.

Panel 4: They are far more fun to throw in the air.

Panel 5: Poorly drawn leaves are also fun to roll around in.

Panel 6: A while later, Elly comes up to John and 'says' a picture of April. This means that she has finally realized that yet again, she lost track of a child because she was doing something that she can't admit was useless.

Panel 7: The two of them seem to be calling her name. This is futile because April is not at the age where she comes running when she hears her own name.

Panel 8: Since John and Elly are limited by having Lynn's non-existent understanding of how children think and behave, this continues on and gets more desperate-looking.

Panel 9: We find April's actual primary care-giver Farley looking at April who has fallen asleep in a pile of leaves while in the background, the so-called parents go crazy looking for her.

Summary: This hints at a thing to come: April going missing again because Elly's head is up her ass and also April being blamed for Elly's witlessness and negligence.
Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 23 October 2021

The one where Lynn reminds us that she really doesn't understand teenage boys at all.

Synopsis: Mike, Brian, Lawrence and Nodrog (might as well call him something) lament the fact that Gordon is no longer aimlessly hanging around with scruffy losers like them....mostly because he was better at bumming a car off of his parents.

Summary: That's it for Not-Gordon.....and this is also it for Lawrence's heterosexuality. When he figures prominently again, he's the set piece for tokenism so horrible, it makes Russia's laws make sense.
Snarky Candiru2

It Better End Soon: Safety Forced

It seems that the White Person Problem that was just too much for Sarah this was was a minor incident at a shopping mall that was probably a minor kitchen fire or a false alarm or something.

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Personal observations:
  1. In English, we don't say 'retail therapy', we say 'shopping'. Retail therapy is an annoying buzzword twee people use to sound important.
  2. What she doesn't realize is that if she sees the cashier hauling ass to an exit, it is serious.
  3. Lucky for her, her own children didn't get to see her act like a nervous Nelly.
  4. Well, she did get something done: she got that door fixed.
Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 22 October 2021

The one where No Name Given phones John to see how pissed he is at Mike for breaking the curfew he doesn't actually really have.

Synopsis: When Noname phones looking for Mike, John says that while he doesn't know where Mike is but does know that it's time he got his ass home. We switch focus to the fast food joint where Noname confirms that since John is pissed, it is time Mike was home.

Summary: This leads to a self-serving exercise in lamentation. It's also proof that Mike is a shitty friend and also a God-damned coward. A normal kid would have not done this.
Snarky Candiru2

Thursday, 21 October 2021

The one where John changes the baby so as to make Elly look foolish.

Synopsis: As John changes April on what can only be Liz's bed, we hear a ringing phone. Since Lynn appeals to late adopters like herself, Elly tells him to answer it because her hands are covered in cookie dough. This is funny because John's hands are covered in shit.

Summary: This one is followed by Oneoff Instafriend being used to see how pissed John is because the Guys are busy proving that Lynn didn't get what Chayefsky was saying.