Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 28 November 2021

The one where Mike doesn't want to weep in front of his family.

Synopsis: The Pattersons watch a maudlin old movie and weep openly at the contrived plot to Mike's apparent disdain. When he's not around them, he too weeps.

Summary: This is meant to attack Aaron for being 'cold' and 'inhuman' when he's trying to keep his image when he's standing on the floor.
  • Current Music
    I'm A Man: Chicago Transit Authority
Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 27 November 2021

The one where Miss Edwards says "I'm in a wheelchair so I win victim poker!!!" again.

Synopsis: When Dawn tells Miss Edwards that she doesn't want to go to class with looking the way she does, Miss Edwards tells her to put on a plastic smile to triumph over the made-up monsters that she does. This is because they're both Lynn and fear everyone ever and want to put a brave face on self-hatred.

Summary: This leads to next week's thing about Elly having superpowers that she doesn't use because she gave birth. This also leads to the clunky villain edit that reminds us that Elly is asleep at the switch as a parent and that her children are so desperate for guidance, they'll actually listen to her horrible and stupid advice.
Snarky Candiru2

It Better End Soon: Cultural Cringe With Cranberry Sauce

Today's effort is all about 2019's Thanksgiving dinner and how overwhelmed she was. You will note two things: no reference to any sort of virus and no hint that Canada is a foreign country with holidays of its own.

Collapse )

1) I guess she still doesn't realize that it takes a lot of work to make something look effortless.

2) At least the kids don't get slammed too badly. She's saving that for the holidays.

3) It occurs to me that she's pandering to Lynn's fear of American curiosity.
Snarky Candiru2

Friday, 26 November 2021

The one where Dawn wants permission to hate Candace rather than admit that she lives and dies by what other people think.

Synopsis: When Wheeled Bullshit Mentor takes her to the sitcom minimalism staff room and expresses disbelief that someone would follow the suggestion of a child, Dawn comes very close to admitting that she does things to make people who she finds impressive like her but doesn't stick the landing.

Summary: This sets her up to live and love Lynn's bullshit about the evils of power in the wrong hands.
Snarky Candiru2

Wednesday, 24 November 2021

The one where Candace is an extra-bad person because she won't allow Dawn to be a self-serving hypocrite.

Synopsis: When Dawn expresses her displeasure at the curious stares of others, Candace shuts her down by saying that acting on a suggestion means that Dawn has to accept personal responsibility for her plight. She don't like that.

Summary: It doesn't take because Lynn wants to rant about the evils of peer pressure because she's jealous of the influence other people have on the children that other people raised anyway.
Snarky Candiru2

Tuesday, 23 November 2021

The one where Lynn reminds us that she really doesn't understand fashion at all really.

Synopsis: When Dawn expresses a deep desire to stay home until her fade grows out, Liz feeds are a straight line that allows Lynn to editorialize about the need to stay warm.

Summary: My guess is that Lynn is still trying to figure out why people compare a certain group of people to a device used to hold water away from farmland.
Snarky Candiru2

Monday, 22 November 2021

The one where it's magically Candace's fault Dawn is too weak and spineless to stand her ground.

Synopsis: When told she can't stay home until her hair grows out, Dawn whines about how Candace made her go to the hair salon to get the fade she regrets. At no point is it admitted that she had the option of telling Candace to go piss up a rope.

Summary: When Candace says that Dawn could have noped out of the deal, Dawn wants to be a hypocrite about it and forgets what she told Liz about Super-Teddy.
Snarky Candiru2

Sunday, 21 November 2021

The one where Liz really needs to do her homework elsewhere because John and Elly can't wait to pit their daughters against one another.

Synopsis: See Liz do her homework. See Liz forget that she has a nineteen month old sister. See it bite her in the ass. See John and Elly not care much when Liz complains. See the black cloud of aggression form over Liz's head because she's a fragment of a weak mind who thinks kids ask to be born to make her life worse.

Summary: Wait fifteen years. See Liz use this and other examples of April 'getting away with murder' and totally not 'making a good-faith mistake without intending to destroy Liz' as an excuse to call April a picky-face. Shove it, Liz....shove it!!! You've probably thrown a tantrum about lost eyeglasses by now.
Snarky Candiru2

Saturday, 20 November 2021

The one where Lynn reveals herself to be the Karenest Karen who ever Karened.

Synopsis: Dawn is way reluctant to get going to school because she's got her hair in a fade that a real kid of that era would really like only she doesn't because Candace is a BAD INFLUENCE!!! with POWER!!!! to make girls do stupid things they wouldn't do on their own.

Summary: From the empty brain that gave you the irrational and flat-out stupid idea that if a child doesn't want what Mommy feels like serving, she's not actually hungry comes the ridiculous idea that no one really likes anything that scares a soft, weak and entitled woman who lives in fear of everything not dreamt of by Norman Rookworld.