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Panel 1: Christ, it's like when you were a kid, waiting for your parents to find out that you broke a window or something. As much as you dread what's coming, it's a relief just to have the waiting over with.
So of course Anthony is going to invite himself along on the :cough: test drive. And it's not very different from what someone predicted, here or elsewhere I can't remember. The projection was "Elizabeth?" "Anthony!" Anthony is more wordy than I expected, but it just proves that he's not over her, since he apparently dropped everything to come out and see her. Liz's demure response makes my stomach lurch, though. See, if it were PAUL, she'd respond neutrally: "Yes, I need a car and since Gordon's the Best! Salesman! Evah! I blah blah blah..." Instead, she turns and gasps, "Anthony?" because that's all that matters is the sight of him, right? It's all over now, Baby Blue.
Panel 2: Ooooooooooof course. She'd "really like that." Bye, Paul.
Panel 3: Well, she hasn't moved back to Milborough, genius. And I can't quite read the expression on Liz's face. Anyone else?
Panel 4: No, not WAIT! That word has acquired such awful connotations! And katje, I think Lynn has put you out of business: Anthony has matched your OTT portrayal of him.
Panel 5: Nerves rattling. Well, all that means is that Liz is going to have a small crisis of conscience before she gets the Chipper 'n' Suds 4-Evah news from Mtig.
::Cookie hands out barf bags:: [_] [_] [_] [_] [_]
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July 27 2006, 04:17:19 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 04:44:58 UTC 5 years ago
I just love how he's putting on those Rico Suave Mack Dorky moves on her. WTF, Lynn?! We're supposed to like the fact the moment she steps over the threshold of Mayes Motors, there's GrAnthony all, "Hey, Liz, great to see you, remember the good times, heh, I'm divorced now, yeah, OHGODMARRYMEIAMSUCHASPINELESSWEINER!"
The conversation, should have gone more like this:
Anthony: Is something wrong with the car?
Liz: Yes; the passenger seat has a serious defect.
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July 27 2006, 04:19:06 UTC 5 years ago
You are so absolutely right.
*grabs barf bag*
July 27 2006, 04:50:26 UTC 5 years ago
If Liz ever HAD a conscience. The character is so unredeemable . . . I really want the Liz Patterson character to die off. Seriously. If Mike and Liz Patterson were to end up in some sort of fatal Moose-Tapestry-and-Wood-Chipper accident, tell me how the comic world would be worse off?
Liz doesn't give one rodentia rear about anything but Liz. The tragedy? Paul gets away, but Francoise gets traumatized. But that's not the Patterson way, now is it? It's enough to go out, buy one of those Lynn books, wait in line to have her sign it, and then tear it in half in front of her face. Freaking Patterson Peyton Place . . . Like Twin Peaks but all melty with Teh St00pid.
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Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 04:23:57 UTC 5 years ago
AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I didn't know how I was going to handle it. Thank you all for being here with me. ::shudders::shakes::Interesting how in Panel 4, how Granthony (looking as old as ever, I must say) says, "When Gord said you were coming in today, I couldn't wait..." So of course Elly sounded the alarm! No question as to whom she wants for a son-in-law. Paul, we hardly knew ye.
July 27 2006, 04:37:39 UTC 5 years ago
Re: AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! (*HNURK!* *splat!*)
I think we're actually going to have to have a support group for this strip. GrAnthony was waiting for her . . . and he made it SO clear that the moment Elly blabbed about her return . . . GRRRR!Okay . . . reality check about car shopping:
(1) Gordo would not let her just test drive cars without a salesmonkey. They SENT Anthony out there. SENT. As in "shoveity-push-go-get-her-Anthony!"
(2) Salesmonkeys don't leave you alone. They don't. Never. If Gordo's such hot poopie, why has he only himself and the snack bar manager selling cars? Gah. Okay, even low-end shops have more than one salesmonkey. Therefore, they SENT Anthony out there. Smelling like Cinnabon.
I hope she falls on her pointy pencil ends! GAAAAAH!
just . . . GAAH!
Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 04:31:39 UTC 5 years ago
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA . . .
. . . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!I'd cry if my eyeballs had not melted out of the sockets.
July 27 2006, 04:46:34 UTC 5 years ago
And why the hell is a single woman choosing what looks to be an SUV for a test-drive? I can only guess it's because Liz is thinking it would have plenty of room for Francoise's safety seat.
Countdown to Paul sending a "Dear Liz letter" the next time she checks her email.
July 27 2006, 04:55:02 UTC 5 years ago
Ummmm....I'm a single woman and I have an SUV.
Granted, I rescue greyhounds, and it's easier to get four of them in an SUV than it is a sedan....
Not that Liz would rescue anything if it didn't directly benefit her.
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Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 04:55:38 UTC 5 years ago
Sorry, all, I made the mistake of eating before I read this crap, I've a full stomach....
July 27 2006, 05:19:50 UTC 5 years ago
It's ok.
It's ok. Cookie, go get more barf bags.5 years ago
July 27 2006, 04:57:00 UTC 5 years ago
Geometry
So Liz and Elly talked about financing together.So Liz and Elly went to the GordoAutopolis together.
So Liz and Elly talked to Gordo together.
So Liz and...
Oh wait -- Liz and NOBODY went to look at the car that Gordo pointed out?
The car has a back seat. But Elly isn't in the back seat looking at the car that Liz was picking out and Elly was paying for?
Maybe they can just drive straight to the J.P. and get the wedding over with before Saturday.
Then LJ can move to a farm in Alberta and stop annoying the world with this crap.
July 27 2006, 04:59:53 UTC 5 years ago
Re: Geometry
I agree. The strip needs an End Date of August 1, 2006.5 years ago
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Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 04:57:14 UTC 5 years ago
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
July 27 2006, 04:59:23 UTC 5 years ago
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July 27 2006, 05:32:43 UTC 5 years ago
And we're all going to win the Lottery . . .
ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease.But no. It will be GrAnthony and Liz 4-evah and
Elly'sMike's book hitting the NYTimes Bestseller list. Knocking the much more capable writer, Nicholas Sparks off the charts.We've gone into the Twilight Zone, people, and not one of the fun Twilight Zones where everything ends up all right in the end. This is one of the bad ones. The ones where no one survives. Right now, if Cthulu popped out of the Mayes Motor Emporium and Portal to Otherworldy Planes with Eldritch Unspeakable Horrors (just behind the coffee machine next to the Bear Claws, methinks), I would take it in stride.
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Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 05:13:54 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 15:05:16 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 05:22:40 UTC 5 years ago
Quick! There's still a chance! Ditch him and the car on the side of the road and run for it! You're wearing senseble shoes, USE THEM!!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE HEED YOUR HONORARY MTWIGGY NAME AND GET THE FLOCK OUT OF THAT CAR!!
July 27 2006, 05:27:11 UTC 5 years ago
Might I add, by the way, that CAINE makes me think of Caning, which is a punishment in several oppressive countries. Whyfore are you Caine-ing your readership, Lynn? Are there that many people who really believe that true love is always trumped by first love?
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July 27 2006, 05:31:13 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 15:08:45 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 05:45:17 UTC 5 years ago
Well, at least the strip finally took a crap...
It's been constipated for how long now? I've been so bored that I couldn't even comment here for weeks because of the drowsiness that ensued after reading each strip. The only comic relief we've had the cemetary plot was the one strip with my buddy Kelpfroth.It's all over for Paul Wrightwrong now. Liz looks old; so does Granthony. It's a match made in heaven.
And BTW...Elly's transformation into a Far Side frump is 99% complete. The evidence was there yesterday - she no longer has eyeballs.
Anonymous
July 27 2006, 13:09:11 UTC 5 years ago
...from a Satanist's point of view.
In panel 3, Granthony's hair even looks like Liz's bunhead. Now all we need is for Liz's hormones to go haywire... and presto, somebody needs electrolysis on her upper lip!
--Viviane
July 27 2006, 05:45:52 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 11:32:34 UTC 5 years ago
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July 27 2006, 05:50:36 UTC 5 years ago
Little bit hope?
I see a hint of hope here. Maybe we'll see Liz grow the pair of balls Anthony never had and tell him off. He needs therapy, not a girl (who lives inside his head, mostly) to save him.July 27 2006, 14:40:58 UTC 5 years ago
Re: Little bit hope?
I'd have hope too, except for: "No! I’d really like that."5 years ago
July 27 2006, 11:08:51 UTC 5 years ago
July 27 2006, 11:16:16 UTC 5 years ago
I know--and we get it TWICE in one frame. It's heinous.
Hee--I think
Meanwhile, could Anthony BE any more pathetic? And will Liz, er, I'm sorry, "Elizabeth," remember to mention her burly cop boyfriend whom she misses oh-so-much?
July 27 2006, 12:07:59 UTC 5 years ago
How far is "down,"
So Anthony's take on events is posted at April's Real Blog now...
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Anonymous
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July 27 2006, 11:45:45 UTC 5 years ago
You maniacs! You wrecked my comic! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
July 27 2006, 12:24:39 UTC 5 years ago
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July 27 2006, 12:19:47 UTC 5 years ago
*grabs barf bag*
July 27 2006, 12:20:41 UTC 5 years ago
Can Granthony fix his own car and use power tools without hurting himself? If so, I guess he'll do.
...sigh...
July 27 2006, 12:38:57 UTC 5 years ago
KLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG!
And the Titanic hits the iceberg!July 28 2006, 00:41:26 UTC 5 years ago
Re: KLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG!
Yes, that's how I felt.Hey, I thought of you this weekend, Third Man. For one thing, that movie was on this weekend. Also, I was at an anniversary party and that song was playing. :)
5 years ago
July 27 2006, 13:17:55 UTC 5 years ago
My Analysis
Anthony:Elizabeth! I saw your mom at the coffee shop with Gordon. They said you were test-driving a few cars!My Analysis: Since the last strip, Gordon must have taken Liz’s price point and pointed not just to one car but a series of cars Elizabeth can test-drive. Something has happened so that neither Elly nor Gordon is test-driving the cars with Liz. Liz may have said she wants to test-drive them alone, but considering how nervous she seemed before about the car purchase, I would think she would want Elly along. The appearance of Gordon and Elly at the coffee shop is interesting. The last time we saw a Patterson (John) buy a car, he also test drove it alone, but Gordon retired back to his office, which was across the road from the coffee shop. Does this mean the change in method is due to Gordon feeling an obligation to entertain Elly in a place where she can get pastries, or does it mean that they have intentionally gone to the coffee shop to alert Anthony that Elizabeth is there? Considering what Anthony is going to say about Gord in panel 4, my guess is the alert.
Elizabeth:Anthony? I was just about to take this one for a spin.
My Analysis: Elizabeth seems to have intended to test drive alone. Her mom has gone to the coffee shop and if Liz had gone also, she would have encountered Anthony. Therefore, Elizabeth has intentionally avoided going there. I have a hard time imagining Elizabeth trying not to meet Anthony, but perhaps she wanted to wait until she had gotten the business with test driving over. After all, it would be difficult for her to concentrate on car buying, with all the distractions of talking with Anthony. The other possibility is that after being with a good-looking guy like Constable Paul Wright all year, she is simply shocked at how spindly and effeminate Anthony looks.
Anthony: Would you mind if I came along?
My Analysis: Loaded question. He is asking for her to spend some time with him alone in public away from the watchful eye of Elly. He is an ex-boyfriend and he is newly single, so her acceptance of this could be interpreted as an overall acceptance of him.
Elizabeth: No! I’d really like that.
My Analysis: She’s trying to convince herself she would like it, or trying to back off what she may have viewed as a rude way of responding to Anthony when she said, “Anthony?”, or this indicates that she still accepts Anthony.
Anthony: Man, it’s good to see you! I’m so glad you’ve moved back here! When Gord said you were coming in today, I couldn’t wait…
My Analysis: Anthony starts slipping and revealing a little too much. (1) He knew Liz was coming. (2) Gordon, who last summer took Liz on a little trip to Anthony’s house, is still acting as a matchmaker for Anthony. (3) Anthony knows Liz has moved back. Whatever thoughts we may have had about Anthony not keeping up with Liz’s every move are gone. Gordon, at least, has been helping him. This is not too far from Anthony’s usual character. When Liz was at university, Anthony was aware of her Eric relationship and got engaged to Thérèse because of it, only to regret it later when he found out Liz and Eric had broken up. Of he didn’t regret it enough to end his engagement with Thérèse. Anthony is like Liz when it comes to relationships. He expects the other person to come to him, and from his perspective, now she has.
Elizabeth:WAIT!
My Analysis: Elizabeth has realized all the things I just pointed out. I am relieved to see that she is not going to play this as dumbstruck and innocently as she did when Anthony approached her last summer.
Anthony: Is something wrong with the car?
My Analysis: Now Anthony is playing stupid.
Elizabeth: No…My nerves are rattling.
My Analysis: Lynn screwed up the pun. “Something wrong with the car” needed to reference hearing an engine rattle. Anthony should have added, “Do you hear an engine rattle? That sometimes happens with a used Crevasse, but it’s nothing to worry about.” After all, with a female Patterson at the wheel, “something wrong with the car” could have just easily indicated “no cup holder.”
July 27 2006, 15:30:11 UTC 5 years ago
Re: My Analysis
Nice as always, but I was kinda hoping you'd note the use of exclamation point and period in "No! I'd really like that." Maybe the "No!" was originally meant as a rejection (as often happens by mistake with "Would you mind?"), but then she decided to be polite.5 years ago
Anonymous
5 years ago
July 27 2006, 13:25:56 UTC 5 years ago
If it hadn't happened already...
It's official now.FBOFW has officially jumped the shark.
EYYYYY!
Anonymous
July 27 2006, 20:34:33 UTC 5 years ago
Re: If it hadn't happened already...
Naah, that happened years ago, when...April didn't die in that river.
OR
Michael photographs a car accident and marries the victim.
OR
Lynn's husband says, "You know, honey, I think people would find it really interesting if you included more mentions of model trains in your comic strip."
Anonymous
5 years ago
July 27 2006, 13:32:39 UTC 5 years ago
Phew, thanks for the barf bag, cookie.
*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURLLLLLLLLL
July 27 2006, 13:43:50 UTC 5 years ago
Does Liz:
a. Mention she already has a blue-balled boyfriend.
b. Call Granthony out for stalking her.
c. Confess her true love (cue misty music signifying true love overcoming all adversity, begin retching among readers).
This is like Madame Bovary or another novel featuring immoral self-rationalizing characters where you just want to watch how bad they screw up their lives and everybody around them. Like an extremely bloody train wreck.
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