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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The FOOBiverse!'s LiveJournal:

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Saturday, October 22nd, 2016
1:42 am
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Lizzie's curiosity as to why leaves fall leads to John making a testy point about where his taxes go.

(Strip Number , Original Publication Date, 25 October 1987)

Panel 1: We start the strip with a picture of falling autumn leaves.

Panel 2: We zoom out to see Lizzie smile as she picks them up.

Panel 3: An awe-struck Lizzie asks Daddy to lookit the leaves 'cause there must be millions and billions of'em.

Panel 4: She sets up the punchline by asking if God knows how many leaves there are.

Panel 5: He quotes one of the few passages of scripture he remembers and tells her that God said even the hairs on her head are numbered.

Panel 6: When she asks if there's an angel that does nothing but count leaves, he demonstrates his conviction to producing a child with the smarts to tell shit from shinola by using an intellect-killing "Sure, why not."

Panel 7: She then asks what kind of job that would be.

Panel 8: He reminds us that he's a tetchy mush-head who wants his tax dollars to be spent of things he likes by breezily saying "Government."

Summary: When people like Trash Bag Johnny bray about government waste, they're usually talking about how they don't especially like their tax dollars being spent on things they'd rather see disappear and people they don't like much. He comes by it honestly because his dad is against any tax money not being lavished on dirt farmers like himself.
Friday, October 21st, 2016
1:49 am
Saturday, 22 October 2016
Today's strip reminds us that John and Elly's panic is unfounded because Mike is the same person he's always been: someone who, despite having loads and loads of growing up to do, believes that his evil and clueless parents treat him like the kid he is instead of the adult he thinks he is.

(Strip Number 1213, Original Publication Date 24 October 1987)

Panel 1: We find ourselves in the playground watching Gordon ask Mike how it's going. As he throws a rock at a stop sign like a kid, he says it's the pits at home.

Panel 2: As he sits on a swing funny like a kid, he confirms Gord's hunch that his parents are bugging him.

Panel 3: He jumps in a puddle like a kid and moans about being nagged and ordered around.

Panel 4: He then asks when they're going to stop treating him like a little kid.

Summary: Lizzie answers this two years later when she suggests that they're waiting for his brains to catch up with the rest of him. Hmm. Weird. You'd have thought that this would get someone to admit that they don't have to worry about the kids growing up too soon but for one factor: John and Elly don't actually seem to like Mike all that much that I've seen.
Thursday, October 20th, 2016
1:48 am
Friday, 21 October 2016
We continue merrily on with John and Elly acting as if Mike has suddenly mutated into an evil teenager because they attach too much importance to numbers.

(Strip Number 4882, Original Publication Date, 23 October 1987)

Panel 1: Elly tells John that Mike's still just eleven years old; he thus couldn't be turning into a feared and hated teenager because he's not ready yet.

Panel 2: Mike slams the door shut and reveals himself to be a figure of horror: a frowning sixth-grader in a jean jacket, drug store sunglasses and hair slicked up so that he no longer looks like Mirror Universe Linus Van Pelt.

Panel 3: Since they live in fear of their children, John and Elly gaze at this non-event in pants soiling terror.

Panel 4: They are horrified to have to remember that Mike is their child.

Summary: What we see here are two people of rather dim intelligence. They spend the next seven years wondering why Mike has a 'bad' attitude when they make their active hostility to everything he says, thinks or does a secret only to themselves.
Wednesday, October 19th, 2016
1:44 am
Thursday, 20 October 2016
The odd thing about today's strip is that John and Elly freak out about how Mike is suddenly a pain in the ass now that he's becoming one of THEM when he's the same annoying creep he's always been.

(Strip Number 1212, Original Publication Date, 22 October 1987)

Panel 1: A short while later, a panicky Elly asks John what has happened to somehow change Michael.

Panel 2: When she states that Mike is rude, sullen and makes smart-alecky remarks when asked to help out, one would expect John to join most of the human race in asking how that constitutes any sort of change in his behaviour.

Panel 3: Instead, Panicky Idiot Number Two says that IT might have happened and he might be changing into one of THEM.

Panel 4: Elly gasps in horror because her BAAAAAAYYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEE is becoming an evil monster teenager who hates happiness and goodness.

Summary: This is a woman who shrieked in despair when two-year old Lizzie first started showing signs of having a personality because her BABY was gone and replaced by something cruel and mother-hating with terrible, terrible anti-mother free will. Expecting her to do anything but make a dog's breakfast of being the parent of an adolescent is something of a non-starter, I should think.
Tuesday, October 18th, 2016
1:42 am
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
According to Lynn, Mike is a self-absorbed piece of crap who thinks that Elly should drop everything and cook for him because he will die being ungrateful and worthless. You'll get what I think in the summary.

(Strip Number 4881, Original Publication Date, 21 October 1987)

Panel 1: Elly tells a clearly reluctant Mike to get his own supper because he can see she's busy.

Panel 2: As by way of example, he could make himself a pot of Kraft Dinner.

Panel 3: As she reads the directions, she asks him what could possibly be simpler than that.

Panel 4: When he says 'watching HER do it', she's gobsmacked.

Summary: What we have in Mike is a gloomy nitwit who's pretty much a male Elly moaning that actual Elly hates him because she won't cook for him. The idea of helping out is seen as just part of the oppression. In any event, this starts something that never actually stops: wailing about how evil and cruel teenagers are to the victim parents that live in fear of them.
Monday, October 17th, 2016
1:38 am
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
We get a sort of a lead-in to a reminder that Mike is going to die seeing Elly as a robot whose sole purpose is to race around cooking and picking up after him when he doesn't realize that he's been told to feed himself while Elly is working.

(Strip Number 4880, Original Publication Date, 20 October 1987)

Panel 1: We figure out WHY Mike is standing around like a wooden Jesus in a country graveyard when Elly tells him that she'll get supper going when she finishes what she's working on. Since Aaron is to be berated for expecting the Lynn Lake Lynn in Corbeil, Mike whines that he's hungry now.

Panel 2: Elly tells him that he's big enough a kid to go to the fridge and see what's there.

Panel 3: He looks in the fridge and sees what's there.

Panel 4: Since he doesn't want to live in a world where Elly doesn't drop God-damned everything to cater to his whims, he asks her what happens now.

Summary: I don't see why Elly complains about a sudden change in his behaviour Thursday; he's still the same malingering jerk who whined that noooooobody loved him because they expected him to get off his ass and help out and he's still the same gloomy dumb-ass who thinks that Elly hates him because she has needs too.
Saturday, October 15th, 2016
7:34 am
Monday, 17 October 2016
It's Aaron's turn to get a scraping this week for being a normal child. This is because we're supposed to find Mike's presence as oppressive and horrible as Elly does.

(Strip Number 4879, Original Publication Date, 19 October 1987)

Panel 1: As she types something up, Elly tells Mike not to talk to her because she has to get what she's working on finished that night. He says he's just going to stand there.

Panel 2: Since Elly can't concentrate when a child is in her presence, she glares at him.

Panel 3: He then wonders what's wrong because all he's doing is standing there.

Panel 4: She replies by saying that she can't stand it.

Summary: If there are notes, we'd probably get yet another defense of Lynn's need to banish people from her presence because she can't think when other people are in her line of vision.
1:30 am
Sunday, 16 October 2016
Since Lynn is mad at Rod for not wanting to be 'kept' like a 'good' husband, John publicly humiliates Elly by making a crack about her fat ass; this is, of course, designed to savage a man who can't and won't fight back.

(Strip Number 6709, Original Publication Date, 18 October 1987)

Panel 1: As she and John walk down the street, he tells Elly that he'll only take a second or two at the hardware store they're in front of.

Panel 2: This occasions Elly thought-bubbling that his 'a second or two' there is like her 'second or two' at a dress shop.

Panel 3: John tells the clerk at the building supplies counter that he'll need a 1×6, some 2×4's, 2 sheets of plywood and 36 ft of trim.

Panel 4: Another employee sets up the punchline by telling John that the metal edging he'd ordered has come in before asking the width of his hall door.

Panel 5: John thinks about it and is astonished by the fact that he doesn't remember.

Panel 6: He spots Elly shopping for a mirror and tells the clerk to hold on a second.

Panel 7: He then grabs onto Elly's hips so as to measure them.

Panel 8: He walks to the counter with his hands still the same distance apart.

Panel 9: Elly glowers as the clerk laughs when John tells him to simply add four inches to each side.

Summary: The interesting thing is that just as John would tell Elly not to be so serious about something that can't help but ruin her day, Rod was told not to care about how this sort of crap affected his public image. In both cases, an abuser hid behind the phrase 'it's just a joke' to go right on making people feel like shit.
Friday, October 14th, 2016
1:34 am
Saturday, 15 October 2016
We end the week with a reminder of how little time Thelma and Ed have left; given that this is the last time we actually see her, this is somewhat depressing.

(Strip Number 4878, Original Publication Date, 17 October 1987)

Panel 1: As they get to the assisted living facility, Ed tells Elly that he and Thelma don't actually have to care about what people think.

Panel 2: If they want to be partners, they will be...if that's the way things turn out.

Panel 3: Thelma says that in any event, they're together and taking it day by day.

Panel 4: Ed reminds Elly that the two of them are very old by alluding to however many days they have left.

Summary: Thelma has two hundred and eighteen days left. We don't get to see any of them.
Wednesday, October 12th, 2016
2:46 pm
The Kennedy Gallery Visit.
One of the latest press releases is this article about some photos taken of Lynn's appearance at the Kennedy Gallery in North Bay.

Collapse )

Personal comment: Is it just me or should that photo of the kid with the Pikachu be called "Universal Martyr Lynn glares reprovingly at evil child with evil drawing of evil Japanese electric rat?"
Thursday, October 13th, 2016
1:34 am
Friday, 14 October 2016
Ed rocks the "screw politeness, I'm old" vibe when talking about how his kids can drink a cool glass of get over themselves if they get in the way of his happiness.

(Strip Number 4877, Original Publication Date, 16 October 1987)

Panel 1: Thelma tells Elly that there is one possible complication: Ed's kids might not want the two of them to be together.

Panel 2: Ed tells the two of them that he's got something to say about that: "Who cares what his kids think anyway?"

Panel 3: Thelma tells him that since he's hearing-impaired, he wasn't supposed to hear that.

Panel 4: He tells her that he hears the things he feels like hearing.

Summary: This willful deafness to and lack of concern with the opinions of random idiots who have no real say in the matter makes Ed human garbage...especially when one contrasts him with Jim and his need to marry someone and curry Elly's favour in the process.
Wednesday, October 12th, 2016
1:32 am
Thursday, 13 October 2016
Lizzie's evil and wrong curiosity as to what Ed's plans are lead to his making a mild joke of things.

(strip Number 4876, Original Publication Date, 15 October 1987)

Panel 1: When Elizabeth once again destroys Elly's image by just plain asking if Ed and Thelma are going to get married, Elly displays the proper amount of idiot panic.

Panel 2: Since Thelma is a much calmer and more rational person, she says that she doesn't know about that; it never occurred to her that this was an option because they've only known each other for like a month or so.

Panel 3: She wants to ease into this because she and Ed have been alone for a long time so it's nice to take it slow.

Panel 4: Since Ed realizes that they ain't got that long to wait, he tells Lizzie to check back in a week.

Summary: Thelma seems to have forgotten that she can't dither and be coy at this stage in the game. She's got seven or eight months left so she can't waste it being proper like Elly would.
Tuesday, October 11th, 2016
1:31 am
Wednesday, 12 October 2016
Ed explains what attracted him to Thelma when they first met.

(Strip number 4857, Original Publication Date, 14 October 1987)

Panel 1: As they sit down on a bench, Ed tells Elly that it all started one evening when he met Thelma sitting alone in the TV room.

Panel 2: He wasn't the forward type but he'd asked if she minded if he sat beside her.

Panel 3: Thelma tries getting him to dial down the treacle by reminding him that all she said was "No."

Panel 4: He keeps the needle where it's at by saying it was the way she said that she didn't mind having company that attracted him.

Summary: Well, if he sees it as a magic moment, who are we to judge?
Monday, October 10th, 2016
1:30 am
Tuesday, 11 October 2016
Ed seems to be on the ball enough to realize that Elly thinks that she's the boss of everyone ever.

(Strip Number 4874, Original Publication Date, 13 October 1987)

Panel 1: Thelma tells Elly Ed's name as a means of properly introducing him.

Panel 2: She then explains that they're of a kind as they have similar likes and dislikes and have much the same background.

Panel 3: She's very happy that she's able to properly introduce him to her.

Panel 4: This occasions Ed stage-whispering the fact that she wants him to meet with Elly's approval.

Summary: Elly, I should think, was thought of as practice for dealing with his children who might have objected to his "cheating" on their mother.
Sunday, October 9th, 2016
8:39 am
Canadian Thanksgiving 2016
We get properly introduced to Ed when he makes a 'witty' aside about how he's not Thelma's dad.

(Strip Number 4871, Original Publication Date, 12 October 1987)

Panel 1: As she and Elly walk down the street, Lizzie calls attention to the fact that she sees Mrs Baird.

Panel 2: At least she thinks it's Mrs B; she IS, after all, holding hands with someone.

Panel 3: When Lizzie blurts out the question of whether Mrs Baird has a boyfriend, Elly is, of course, horrified by the potential loss of face her child's bluntness will cause her.

Panel 4: Mrs Baird's giggling as Ed gets all mock-serious and asks Lizzie if she maybe thinks he's Thelma's dad sort of disproves this.

Summary: As always, Elly is more terrified of her children than everyone else is. Mrs B is playing it cool because she's not trying to impress no-one.
Saturday, October 8th, 2016
1:26 am
Sunday, 9 October 2016
It's time to play "What did Rod do to antagonize Lynn this time?"; that's because we have a symphony in the key of Thoughtless Buffoon John forgetting to put the seat down on the biffy like a big stupid idiot again.

(Strip Number 6665, Original Publication Date, 11 October 1987)

Panel 1: It's late at night at the Patterson house and for some reason, Elly wakes up with a grunt while giving John the stink-eye.

Panel 2: She stumbles out of the bedroom all groggy-like.

Panel 3: She doesn't bother turning on the hall light as she walks down to wherever she's going.

Panel 4: She closes the door behind her.

Panel 5: We hear a splashing noise for the rather obvious reason of Elly not having a toilet seat under her when she uses the commode.

Panel 6: As Elly flushes the toilet, she screams in rage.

Panel 7: When she gets back to the bedroom, she turns on the light.

Panel 8: She then wallops John with a pillow to punish him for failure.

Panel 9: He then asks her if he left both toilet seats up again.

Summary: I don't know which of these two is the bigger idiot. Is it John for his seemingly endless inability to realize that he's not the only person in the house or Elly for not remembering that she married a slow-witted clod?
Friday, October 7th, 2016
1:19 am
Saturday, 8 October 2016
Lizzie's playing with Richard the day after the to-do that dominated the week because she has no other options baffles the crap out of her brain-damaged mother.

(Strip Number 1211, Original Publication Date, 10 October 1987)

Panel 1: When Lizzie interrupts Elly as she types up something for her alleged job to ask if Richard can come over to play, she reminds her that they don't like each other.

Panel 2: Lizzie says that while this was true yesterday and the day before, it isn't true now.

Panel 3: Elly asks what makes this day different.

Panel 4: When Lizzie says that there's no one else to play with, Elly is (as usual) stumped.

Summary: Elly must not have had too many friends growing up because she doesn't seem to get how playground politics work.
Thursday, October 6th, 2016
1:16 am
Friday, 7 October 2016
The little kid logic of Lizzie yelling that she's ignoring Richard so he'll know it baffles that imbecile Elly.

(Strip Number 1210, Original Publication Date, 9 October 1987)

Panel 1: We find ourselves watching Lizzie yell over the back fence to Richard that she's ignoring him.

Panel 2: She then bellows that if he talks to her, she isn't going to talk to him and she's going to stay on her side of the fence and not play with him or anything.

Panel 3: Since the noise harshed Elly's mellow and reminded her that her life is blighted by small children, she rushes out to ask what Lizzie thinks she's doing. Lizzie tells her she did what she said.

Panel 4: When she says that she's ignoring Richard, the seeming paradox baffles Elly because we're dealing with a moron parent here.

Summary: This is because she's forgotten what it's like to think "How is he gonna know I'm ignoring him unless I tell him?" She can whine about that not making sense all she likes but this is how kids think and she's just gotta deal with that.
Wednesday, October 5th, 2016
1:13 am
Thursday, 6 October 2016
Elly's advice to Lizzie somehow leads to her screaming in rage because of her stupid misapprehension that Lizzie's question about how far she's supposed to stay away from Richard is Lizzie being deliberately obstructive for murdering purposes.

(Strip Number 1209, Original Publication Date, 8 October 1987)

Panel 1: Elly is too big a deal to look at Lizzie when she tells her to just stay away from Richard if she can't get along with him.

Panel 2: Since Lizzie is seven and also not very smart, she keeps asking how far away she's supposed to stay. Her trying to nail down exactly how far baffles, horrifies and disgusts Elly.

Panel 3: Since the fragile dimwit protagonist doesn't understand that Lizzie isn't being annoying to be evil, she screams in rage because Lizzie can't read her alleged mind.

Panel 4: We see Lizzie kicked out of the house and asking if this is far enough.

Summary: This is why the kids are kept outside too damned much; their imbecile mother is too bloody fragile and paranoid and prone to outbursts of violent rage to co-exist with small children for very long.
Tuesday, October 4th, 2016
1:10 am
Wednesday, 5 October 2016
Yet another example of normal little kid behaviour stumps Elly when Lizzie and Dawn really do care that Richard has ice cream despite telling him that they don't when he's a little shit about it.

(Strip Number 1208, Original Publication Date, 7 October 1987)

Panel 1: As she and Dawn bike past him, Richard tells Lizzie "Nyah-nyah, I got ice cream and you don't"; Lizzie tries to deflect his snottiness by use of the question "So?"

Panel 2: When he tells her it's banilla (because Lynn wants to hammer home how evil children are for getting words they've just learned wrong are) and they can't have any, she tells him she doesn't care.

Panel 3: As they bike away, she tells him he's gotta try harder than that to make them jealous.

Panel 4: We shift focus to baffled Elly being baffled because she doesn't understand why a pleading Dawn and Lizzie have to have ice cream now.

Summary: Liz always did talk a good game about not caring about things only to be crippled by anxiety about what others had. Also, Elly's solution to the 'problem' isn't very smart because it's coming from a woman not smart enough to understand children.
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