The FOOBiverse!'s Journal|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
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|Friday, May 6th, 2016|
Saturday, 7 May 2016
We end the week with Lizzie and Mike cluelessly (but without malice, this is important, Lynn) wrecking the system Elly is trying to use
to organize the photos before asking why she never did that before.
(Strip Number 1150, Original Publication Date, 9 May 1987)Panel 1:
While Elly is off doing something or other, Lizzie makes the scene and starts to destroy Elly's hard work by grabbing onto a photograph of herself as a baby.Panel 2:
She and Michael just keep grabbing photos out of the piles because it doesn't occur to them that Elly has arranged them that way and doesn't want them to be touched. While I can relate to their glee at seeing photos of birthdays and puppies and grandparents, I can also relate to what happens next.Panel 3:
Said thing is Elly's dismay when her children ask her why she never did this ever neat sorting of photos before.Summary:
The sad thing is that when they do say that they didn't realize she wanted the photos left alone, they mean it. After all, they have as much common sense as their mother who can't be bothered putting a sign on the table that says 'don't touch'.
|Thursday, May 5th, 2016|
Friday, 6 May 2016
For some stupid reason, Elly's sorting through old photos lead Mike to make a snotty fat joke
that would have gotten him a good ass-kicking in my house.
(Strip Number 4801, Original Publication Date, 8 May 1987)Panel 1:
As he leans over her shoulder, Mike asks Elly what she's doing; she tells him that she's sorting photographs.Panel 2:
She then says that she thought it would be a good idea to sort them into albums by chronological order.Panel 3:
Having come upon a photo she can't place, she asks herself when it was taken; Mike says that it must have been a long time ago.Panel 4:
She isn't impressed by his snotty comment about her being thin.Summary:
Well, there's a damned good reason she was more slender in that photo: it was before she passed a squalling rutabaga out of her nethers that currently looks like Evil Linus Van Pelt.
|Wednesday, May 4th, 2016|
Thursday, 5 May 2016
Elly's idle comment about going through the old albums to sort them properly
leads him to do so right now.
(Strip Number 4800, Original Publication Date, 7 May 1987)Panel 1:
As he puts together a peanut butter and honey sandwich, Elly tells John that helping Mrs Baird sort through her personal belongings was a real experience.Panel 2:
She goes on to say that Thelma's photos are her most treasured possessions.Panel 3:
She then suggests organizing their photos at some point.Panel 4:
A little while later, he astonishes her by showing up with a huge box of old photos and asking where she wants to begin.Summary:
As Saturday's strip teaches us, the best time to begin would be after the busy-fingered tinies grow up and have children of their own to fret over. Granted, this means that Mike gets to be family archivist but at least it gets done eventually....by Jim because he's bored.
|Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016|
Wednesday, 4 May 2016
Elly describes having helped Mrs Baird pack up her belongings
as having seen a lifetime in a day.
(Strip number 4799, Original Publication Date, 6 May 1987)Panel 1:
A few hours later, we find Elly in John's workshop telling her about helping Mrs Baird pack her belongings before the move with special emphasis on all the things she's collected.Panel 2:
As John saws something, Elly tells him that Thelma still has some of the toys she had as a child.Panel 3:
She goes on to state that she's sorted through clothing, jewelry, games, souvenirs and photos.Panel 4:
She gets sort of thoughtful when she states that she's seen a lifetime in a day.Summary:
This sort of comes in handy next year after Mrs Baird passes. That way, she can at least talk to the nieces and nephews with some confidence at the memorial service.
|Monday, May 2nd, 2016|
Tuesday, 3 May 2016
Thelma warns Elly to never to take John for granted;
the message is recorded as having been received but declared untranslatable.
(Strip Number 4798, Original Publication Date, 5 May 1987)Panel 1:
As she removes it from the mantlepiece, Mrs Baird shows Elly her wedding photo and talks about how handsome her long-dead husband Bill was.Panel 2:
Bill was a hard worker who wanted to accomplish many good things in his life.Panel 3:
Sadly, he was taken far too early and it took years for Thelma to accept his loss.Panel 4:
This makes her tell Elly to not take what she has with John for granted and to make each second count.Summary:
This message finally starts to sink in pretty much the same time she watches the teal-and-lavender calamity that is the final destruction of Elizabeth's personality. Until then, it's coffee cups and stuck out tongues all the way.
|Sunday, May 1st, 2016|
Monday, 2 May 2016
We return to the process of moving Mrs Baird out so that Connie can move in by having Mrs Baird realize that she's starting the process of becoming
a posthumous part of the scene now that she's giving away her treasures to younger relatives.
(Strip Number 4797, Original Publication Date, 4 May 1987)Panel 1:
We find ourselves watching Elly help Mrs Baird pack away her belongings before she loves. This is going to be tricky because, as Thelma says, it's hard to know where to start with the twenty-odd years of clutter.Panel 2:
A little while later, she tells Elly that the boxes she's pointing to are for her nieces and nephews.Panel 3:
Said boxes contain medals, ornaments, books and photographs she thinks they'd like to have.Panel 4:
Thelma is suddenly distraught because she, as she tells Elly, has just realized that she's giving away her memories.Summary:
Given that she'll BE a memory in a year's time, this seems sadly appropriate. At least she's alive to see them get this stuff. Few people get that chance.
|Saturday, April 30th, 2016|
Sunday, 1 May 2016
In today's strip, Elly would rather not have to endure the boring and irrelevant chatter
Lizzie is tormenting her with because she's trying to hear the big important adult news.
(Strip Number 6162, Original Publication Date, 3 May 1987)Panel 1:
As Elly listens to the radio, we see Lizzie taking off her jacket behind her.Panel 2:
Lizzie tries calling attention to herself.Panel 3:
Elly makes a distracted sounding noise when Lizzie tries this again.Panel 4:
Falsely thinking that she's been given permission to speak, Lizzie tells Elly that a classmate named Julie hit her head on the swing and had to go to Hospital.Panel 5:
Also, there's a new kid in her class and Margie Palmer is moving to Alberta.Panel 6:
Also, they might have some sort of Raffi clone making the scene at school next week.Panel 7:
Elly rolls her eyes in martyred frustration as Lizzie talks about something pointless about spelling scores or some such thing.Panel 8:
She then makes that irritating palms-out pleading gesture when she tells Lizzie to be quiet because she's trying to listen to the news.Panel 9:
Chastened by wasting Mommy's precious time listening to her, Lizzie says a sad "oh" in response.Panel 10:
She proves that she hasn't learned her lesson by thinking that she WAS telling her mom the news.Summary:
This, I should think, is grounds for a self-justifying Lynnsight that proves what a mush-headed failure Lynn and Elly are. After all, you can't go around telling your children that they're horrible and cruel for trying to get you to know about their pointless, meaningless existences only to turn around and whine at Connie Poirier because they don't realize that you're there to share. Okay, you can but you have to lack self-awareness.
|Friday, April 29th, 2016|
Saturday, 30 April 2016
As threatened, we end the arc with John applying evil male common sense
and horrible, horrible logic to the situation by pointing out that maybe Elly is worried about absolutely nothing again.
(Strip Number 4796, Original Publication Date, 2 May 1987)Panel 1:
Since Elly can't climb down off of her cross about peer pressure, she complains to John that the kids have too much pressure to grow up before asking him why Lizzie can't be a little child for a while.Panel 2:
John responds to this by beckoning Elly to the window to see something that she needs to see.Panel 3:
What he wants her to watch is Elizabeth stomping and splashing in the mud like the six year old girl she is, earrings or no earrings, nylons or no nylons. Panel 4:
He tells her that he doesn't think they should be worried growing up any time soon.Summary:
This seems to be his job when Elly tries to fight peer pressure. As it will be with the Boston Original arc, he's trying to tell Elly that peer pressure isn't a sign that children want to
murder and eat
reject their mother. Ah, well. That's the price children have to pay for having a mom who wanted to flay her mother alive for daring to care enough to correct her and tell her she could do bttter.
|Thursday, April 28th, 2016|
Friday, 29 April 2016
Lizzie doesn't quite understand that it isn't the fact
that she can't take care of her crew socks that make Elly flat-out refuse to let her keep up with the mean girls.
(Strip Number 4795, Original Publication Date, 1 May 1987)Panel 1:
Elly does the Haughty Annoying Dimwit Who's So ANGRY At Her Child, She Won't Even Look At Her thing when she says that she doesn't care who wears stockings in grade one, Elizabeth is not allowed.Panel 2:
As justification, Elly points out that Elizabeth's new socks are filthy and already have holes in them. This is meant to indicate that Lizzie is too young to be trusted with them but, since it reflects poorly on Elly's skills, is something she should not have said. Panel 3:
As Rage-Faced Elly angrily storms off because she's angry at her horrible daughter for caring more for the opinion of a child than her own mother, Lizzie looks down at her socks.Panel 4:
She then tries to counter Elly's decree by saying that the tops of her socks are OK.Summary:
Lizzie might as well get used to this. English Canadian parents of Lynn's generation feel obliged to make every rite of passage their children have into a stand-up row that allows them to nail themselves to their damned cross like the nation of pointlessly angry at the wrong damned thing, self-defeating, stubborn idiots we are. We can't
do things the easy way because we're a nation of short-tempered, small-minded dullards who are deeply suspicious of happiness and ease and giving people the benefit of the doubt.
|Wednesday, April 27th, 2016|
Thursday, 28 April 2016
We finally get to WHY Elly is dead set against all of this
when hooker couture for first graders causes her brain to go into vapor lock. I ain't fond of it myself but like I said yesterday, I
ain't blaming the kids wearing it.
(Strip Number 1149, Original Publication Date, 30 April 1987)Panel 1:
That afternoon, we find Elly overreacting to the fact that for some reason, Paula's crazy mother lets her wear nylons.Panel 2:
Instead of asking if they're in a time warp and if the Reds have just launched Sputnik, Elly is filled with terror and despair and blubbers about how Paula and Lizzie are ooooooonly little girls in the first grade. (You will note that Lynn uses the Canadian expression 'grade one' because she's never been exposed to the American system of indicating grades.)Panel 3:
She then asks Lizzie if they do all of this grown-up stuff now, what will they do when they are teenagers.Panel 4:
Elly sinks even further into despair when Lizzie invokes the name of a cousin of a girl named Tammy who went punk by shaving her head and dying the stubble green.Summary:
We need Dora The Explorer to come along and tell Elly "Victim blamer, stop blaming! Victim shamer, stop shaming!" because it's the crazy-ass PARENT responsible for what the kid is doing. You get the mother to stop buying into that crap, it's going to go away.
|Tuesday, April 26th, 2016|
Wednesday, 27 April 2016
As promised last week, Instigating Annoyance Paula isn't going to stand by
and let Lizzie win. This is because for some reason, she's wearing nylon stockings.
(Strip Number 1148, Original Publication Date, 29 April 1987)Panel 1:
At class the next day, Lizzie comes up to Paula and shows off her new piercings. Once they heal, her mommy will let her wear earrings just like Paula does.Panel 2:
Since they both have all the same things, they're even and Paula will have to stop being mean to her.Panel 3:
In response to this, Paula tells Lizzie to look at something she just got.Panel 4:
Lizzie is dismayed to find that Smirking Irritant Paula has nylon stockings.Summary:
I am dismayed that Lynn seems to have become a prophet. I ain't fond of hooker couture for elementary school kids either but I ain't gonna blame the KID like Lynn is doing. I blame the crazy mother and creep fashion designer for THAT outrage.
|Sunday, April 24th, 2016|
Lynn and the novel that will never be.
The latest 'Ask the Artist' thing is all about that novel Lynn vaguely alluded to wanting to write
straight from the horse's arse.
As expected, it's a self-aggrandizing grab-bag of weak ideas, blithering about muses and how the characters talk to her and pleading the question via the side issue of having time and isolation enough to effectively enter the fake, stupid, no-way creative trance of turning out inferior material:( Collapse )
Oh, yes. I forgot to mention that she thinks she had a good ending to Foob: Liz blithely tossing away what little remained of her personality in order to please her idiot parents.
|Monday, April 25th, 2016|
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
Lizzie can't decide what hurts more
: the holes in her ears or being lectured to by Elly.
(Strip Number 1147, Original Publication Date, 28 April 1987)Panel 1:
Elizabeth's ear piercings hurt and she asks Elly why they can't be taken out.Panel 2:
Elly tells her that if they do, they'll heal over and she'll have to have it done all over again.Panel 3:
She then lectures Elizabeth about learning to put up with little aches and pains. Panel 4:
Elizabeth tunes Elly out because her ears hurt too much to listen to a lecture.Summary:
It's okay, Lizzie. Just assume Mommy is telling you that she's always right and you're never right and you'll have gotten the core concept of the pious and hypocritical tirade. As her habit of banishing you and Mike outside until sundown because the least bit of distraction causes her to erupt in blind rage, Elly is incapable of dealing with the least bit of discomfort so is a fine one to talk about it.
|Sunday, April 24th, 2016|
Monday, 25 April 2016
While we're supposed to think that Lizzie isn't really ready
for the pain earrings cause, we have to remember that Elly tends to forget her own strength.
(Strip Number 1146, Original Publication Date, 27 April 1987)Panel 1:
We find ourselves watching Elly fighting with Elizabeth while trying to clean her new earring piercings; while it's true that Lizzie should maybe not fidget so much and that piercings do
hurt, there's an extraneous factor Elly never seems to acknowledge that adds to the pain: the fact that Elly is applying a harsh antiseptic on a cotton ball instead of saline on a Q-tip. In this case, more is not better. Panel 2:
As sore-eared and miserable Lizzie walks by, John asks how the ear-piercing went and if they succeeded in making her more beautiful. Panel 3:
He allows as how the earrings
look pretty. Panel 4:
The problem is that she'll have to do something about the pouting, angry and frustrated expression on her face.Summary:
We're clearly going for an "Elly was right and her foolish child should have waited until
she was old enough to handle this" thing here. The problem is that Lynn doesn't remember the strips that have Elly forget her own strength; this gives snarkertrolls an opening to assume that Elly's idea of a gentle cleansing in order to prevent infection feels as if she's trying to see if Lizzie's ears detach.
|Saturday, April 23rd, 2016|
Sunday, 24 April 2016
Smarmy fist-magnet Mike takes pride in being
a hateful annoyance to Elizabeth.
(Strip Number 6659, Original Publication Date, 26 April 1987)Panel 1:
We find ourselves watching Lizzie simply trying to read. Since Mike never has nothing better to do with his free time than to be an irritant, we find smiling as he copies her casually sniffing.Panel 2:
He also copies her yawning with a big, greasy grin.Panel 3:
When she sighs, so does he.Panel 4:
He copies her clearing her throat.Panel 5:
He also copies her coughing.Panel 6:
When she tries expressing her displeasure, he mimics that too.Panel 7:
He's about to work her last nerve when he mocks her telling him to stop it.Panel 8:
Having reached her limit, she screams in incoherent rage and wails on him.Panel 9:
She then storms off looking for an adult who will rid her of an ugly brother.Panel 10:
Since he doesn't realize that he's going to get another lecture about the shitty way he treats Lizzie, Mike grins as he thought-bubbles about how teasing is an art.Summary:
The interesting thing is remembering how he justifies this hateful bullshit. Deanna might not have realized the full portent of his despairing wail that Liz is cuter than he is but we do. He thinks in terms of being replaced by a newer shinier model and he'll do anything to stop that from happening.
|Friday, April 22nd, 2016|
Saturday, 23 April 2016
We end the week with Elly weeping in despair because
her BABY is growing up before her very eyes and she'll be ooooooold before her time.
(Strip Number 1145, Original Publication Date, 25 April 1987)Panel 1:
We find ourselves at the salon watching the esthetician tell Lizzie that she needs to sit still as the process of piercing her ears might sting just a bit.Panel 2:
She then does the other ear.Panel 3:
The esthetician marvels because Lizzie got her ears pierced and didn't even cry.Panel 4:
She's mildly confused when Elly bursts into tears.Summary:
We'll see why Elly is filled with sorrow and loss in a week's time when evil John evilly tries to point out that no, Lizzie isn't maturing too rapidly no matter what's in her ears or on her legs or face. Heh. If anything, Lizzie is far younger than her peers and always will be. Also, Lizzie will cry soon enough when Elly once again forgets that children can feel pain.
|Thursday, April 21st, 2016|
Friday, 22 April 2016
Elly reminds us what kind of despicable failure of a mother she happens to be
when she whines that she must be insane to do something she disagrees with for the sake of her child.
(Strip Number 1144, Original Publication Date, 24 April 1987)Panel 1:
Having finally realized that perhaps dealing with this Paula child is something of a concern, Elly admits that getting her ears pierced means a lot to Lizzie.Panel 2:
If this concession is to be made, Lizzie will have to look after them. Lizzie promises to do so because she doesn't realize that it means that Elly will apply the same sort of force to her sensitive ears that she does to her scalp.Panel 3:
Lizzie is pleased when Elly allows this thing to happen.Panel 4:
A bleary-eyed Elly thinks that she must have holes in her head.Summary:
Perhaps she does....but doing something nice for the kids despite that not being in her comfort zone is starting them to heal up.
|Wednesday, April 20th, 2016|
Thursday, 21 April 2016
Today's strip shows us that yes, Elly is so being unfair to Lizzie; this is because Annoying Instigator Paula
(who might also be Candace) can't wait to rub it in that Lizzie's mommy won't let her have certain things because she doesn't love her enough.
(Strip Number 1143, Original Publication Date, 23 April 1987)Panel 1:
The next day, we find ourselves at Lizzie's school watching Paula as she shows off her earrings. She makes a meal of pointing out who they match her outfit.Panel 2:
She becomes that familiar playground hazard "Obnoxious prepubescent irritant waggling her underage ass at people as she boasts about something" when she sneeringly tells Lizzie about how difficult it is to sleep with them on but SHE wouldn't know that because she doesn't gots them.Panel 3:
Having had enough of this, Elizabeth gets mad and tells her to stop teasing her. Panel 4:
Paula defends herself by saying that she's just showing what she has that Elizabeth doesn't.Summary:
An upcoming strip shows us something very interesting about Paula: her habit of moving the damned goalposts so that Lizzie can be punished for liking Melody. Eventually, Lizzie is relieved of this burden and assigned a new one: Candace. Also, this demonstrates a flaw in Elly's argument: she isn't the only influence in her child's life now no matter how much she wishes it were otherwise.
|Tuesday, April 19th, 2016|
Wednesday, 20 April 2016
Elly wonders why an insecure little child like Lizzie has to follow a trend owing
to her lack of any sort of real awareness of what's actually going on in her children's lives.
(Strip Number 1142, Original Publication Date, 22 April 1987)Panel 1:
Before they turn in for the night, Elly asks John if he thinks that she's being unfair to Elizabeth.Panel 2:
She then sort of tries to convince him that she is
being fair (and that Lizzie is the unreasonable one) by saying that merely because other children have pierced ears, it doesn't necessarily follow that Lizzie should follow suit.Panel 3:
She sets up the punch-line by asking if Lizzie HAS to have something just because everyone else does.Panel 4:
Since she realizes that John is about to say something that disproves her argument, Elly angrily preempts him by telling him that Cabbage Patch Kids dolls don't
Elly has a consistent pattern of behaviour when confronted with this sort of situation which is predicated on her mistaken belief that Elizabeth has any self-confidence at all. Time and again, she forgets how much power instigators like Paula and Candace have over her child and time and again, she ends up looking like a dingleberry who doesn't know what's going on in the world and who also wants her child to get eaten alive out of pure stubborn stupidity.
|Monday, April 18th, 2016|
Tuesday, 19 April 2016
John accidentally ends up backing Elly's play because he doesn't understand
what Lizzie is actually saying; that being said, he'd back her anyway because he too thinks that Lizzie might be growing up too fast.
(Strip Number 1141, Original Publication Date, 21 April 1987)Panel 1:
We find ourselves watching John wonder why Lizzie is bawling her eyes out; this is because her statement about the unfairness of Mommy forbidding her from doing something that Elly thinks that she's not old enough to do covers a lot of ground.Panel 2:
John asks Lizzie what the problem is.Panel 3:
He's scandalized when Lizzie says that all the other girls in her class have studs.Panel 4:
Since he's an idjit who doesn't know what Lizzie means by studs, John assumes that she's talking about a boy and says that he's with Elly on this.Summary:
The odd thing is that it works if John DOES know what she meant by studs. He doesn't want his little girl growing up too fast either.